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Friday, January 3, 2014

Music's Biggest Douchebags: 2013 Edition

Posted By on Fri, Jan 3, 2014 at 4:29 AM

King Douchebag himself, Kanye West. - PHOTO BY MARCO TORRES
  • Photo by Marco Torres
  • King Douchebag himself, Kanye West.

The musical landscape abounds with douchebags of all stripes. Normally their D-bag behavior is pretty amusing, but this year things took a turn for the completely messed-up -- music might have had more douchebags in 2013 than ever before.

It was tough sifting through the bad behavior that went on this year, but I forced myself to endure it to find the worst of the worst. Let's have a toast for the biggest douchebags of the year, including douchebaggery's patron saint Kanye West, who managed to once again engage in the douchebaginess he has come to embody.

5. Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus coming in at No. 5 only proves how awful the rest of the people on this list are. Frankly, the entire VMA performance would have probably been enough, but all the ridiculous, stoned talk-show appearances and amazingly stupid music videos earned her the coveted fifth spot on this list.

All the attention-grabbing antics aside, has Cyrus done anything musically that stands out from the crowd? No? OK, let's move on. See, all these things are silly and douchey, but if they were a promotional tool for some seriously good music, even by pop standards, I could forgive it all. What makes Miley 2013's No. 5 douchebag is that she's a public spectacle more than she is a musician. That makes it that much harder for every real musician out there, including decent pop stars.

4. Kanye West Our patron saint had a hell of a douchey year himself, finally opening his mouth for interviews again. The result has been astounding. First there was the Zane Lowe interview, where he showed that not one thing about his attitude has changed since he became a father.

Then he got into a fight with Jimmy Kimmel for making fun of said interview, which led to an appearance of Kimmel's show where he spent eight more minutes making an ass out of himself without Jimmy having to even speak.

Next he rented a stadium to propose to his girlfriend and sued YouTube for posting video footage of it. And then if that wasn't enough, and this hits home personally, Kanye wrote off any failures of President Obama with the simple excuse that "black people don't have the same connections as Jewish people."

Yep. All in a day's work for Kanye, who realized that the only way to make himself even more of a douchebag was to start espousing anti-Semitic conspiracy theories.

Photo by Jim Bricker
Greg Ginn with his verson of Black Flag back in August.
3. Greg Ginn Considering how cool Black Flag was at one time, and how easy it was to love its esteemed guitarist Greg Ginn -- whose badass riffs and jagged glass solos will always be the stuff of punk legend -- it sucks to have to say he outdouched Kanye West this year. But he did. Big time.

First there was the stupid lawsuit against the band's former members who make up the cover band FLAG and Henry Rollins. Then he managed to alienate the one OG Black Flag member who was standing by his side, Ron Reyes. Now he's just sad, sad man touring a version of Black Flag with no classic members other than himself, peddling his wares to the few willing to give up their hard-earned money to hear him do a theremin solo.

List continues on the next page.

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