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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Holy Ship!!! 2014 Superlatives: Drunkest Raver, Most Ratchet Dancer and More

Posted By on Wed, Jan 15, 2014 at 5:31 AM

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Photo by Chris Manley

Best Kandi While we were wandering around the boat at 6 a.m. on Friday morning, we sat out on the deck with one of our good buddies and randomly met this dude from Montana named James. He was dressed in a totally ill space suit, but he'd never heard of "Peace, Love, Unity, Respect" or kandi. So when this girl who we'll call the Waffle House waitress of PLUR came out, we pushed him to participate in his first kandi exchange. It was magical, but the fun became exponentially greater when we realized what the bracelet said. "It's the fastest way for that molly to hit you," exclaimed the Waffle House waitress of PLUR. And there was no way to argue with that.

Most Ratchet Dancer We stood around, just watching this wild woman get down to the sounds of Pharrell for, like, twenty minutes. We couldn't look away. Trust us when we say this girl has rail-twerking down to an art form. This video doesn't do her or her partner justice. This dude was straight merkin' the booty, slapping it up like box wine at a frat party. The dancing went next level when a totally different dude came by to take his turn. Occasionally, the three of them would just hump each other like some kind of sex-cream sandwich. It was either wonderful or awful, depending on how you were raised. We tend to think those adjectives mean the same thing.

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