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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Ten Changes to the 2014 Gathering of the Juggalos After Its Move from Illinois to Ohio

Posted By on Thu, Jul 24, 2014 at 9:21 AM

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NATE "IGOR" SMITH
  • Nate "Igor" Smith

6. Outdoor Strip Club Operated by Gary Busey's Nephew Yep. This is a thing. We heard the city "Orlando" mentioned by the emcee, so you can probably piece together the rest. And before you ask, of course there are commemorative T-shirts to support whatever the fuck this is actually for. Why wouldn't there be? Now, check out this mugshot of Mike Busey, arrested in 2012 by Osceola County police for selling alcohol without a liquor license while wearing a Santa Claus outfit.

7. More Press With the notable exception of some very outlandish and confused looking Germans fumbling around with a large camera, we didn't see a lot of press last year. That isn't to say they weren't there, but they certainly weren't noticeable. This year members of the media can be seen fiddling with the collars on their button-up shirts, nervously pawing their "PRESS" laminates and sticking close to their similarly narc-looking companions. They tiptoe through the festival ground like it's a minefield. Which isn't too unreasonable, actually, because parts of the ground are covered with passed out juggalos. You do not want to step on those.

8. More Hipsters See the description of the press people. Only the latter have the sense to openly take some drugs.

9. Fewer Motorized Vehicles Last year the Gathering could feel a bit like an LA freeway during rush hour, what with all reckless driving and gridlock from juggalos on their ATVs and other motorized vehicles. So far, from what we've seen this year, there's just a limited assortment of golf carts, scooters, bicycles and two dudes on unicycles who are also juggling bowling pins. Baller status: engaged.

10. Burrito Guy Is Easier to Find We found the campground's finest vendor within two hours of getting here. And you know what? We're still sold on the idea that putting slices of American cheese on a burrito is a culinary concept so stupid and tasty that it's a goddamned miracle. Some things never change, right?

Follow the authors, Daniel Hill and Drew Ailes, on Twitter at @fatrobocop and @CountBakula, respectively.

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