Look at this mattress. As you can plainly see, it is very punk. It is spray-painted and dirty, and it has a negative but in-your-face attitude. Do you want to buy it? Of course you do.
Well, you are in luck, as the owner of this very, very punk piece of bedding is selling it on Ebay! Under the title "SUCH PUNK MATTRESS," this historic piece from an "ahthentic" punk house is presently going for a scant $7.16, well within the budget of even the crustiest of oogle-punks (just give 'em a couple hours spanging in front of the gas station).
As the seller notes, it even comes with a "big fancy spraypaint autagraph," meaning it is probably worth a fortune. In the photos, we see the mattress in close proximity to a What Happens Next? flier and an Iron Lung poster, putting its punk cred through the roof. And it has reportedly been slept on by REAL PUNKS! From the Ebay description:
SUCH PUNK MATTRESS FOR SALE HERE from ahthentic "punk house". many athentic punk rocketrs might have sleep hear no scabies no babies. house to be demolished must go. broken in
Rest easy -- and you will, on this uber-punk badboy -- because this mattress has already been broken in as well, according to the seller. And no scabies! Such luxury. Such comfort. Such punk mattress.
Unfortunately you'll have to travel to Appleton, Wisconsin, in order to pick up your new bedroom furnishing -- the seller will not ship. But that's OK; it is clearly worth it.
Oh yeah, and I guess they are demolishing that house too? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
RFT MUSIC'S GREATEST HITS
The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever "Where Did My Dick Go?" The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations I Pissed Off Megadeth This Week, My (Former) Favorite Band The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.
Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.