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Monday, November 10, 2014

Craigslist: Band Members Needed for "Black-Metal Surf Western" Project

Posted By on Mon, Nov 10, 2014 at 4:06 AM

A visual representation of what this band would sound like. - SCREENSHOT FROM MUSE'S "SUPREMACY" VIDEO. BUT WITH A COWBOY HAT.
  • Screenshot from Muse's "Supremacy" video. But with a cowboy hat.
  • A visual representation of what this band would sound like.

It is possible that the rampant melding of every single genre of music into one giant, disgusting and unrecognizable blob has finally gone too far.

On Wednesday, November 5, some overambitious (or who knows, maybe utterly brilliant) soul posted an ad on St. Louis' Craigslist's "Musicians" community looking for collaborators for a "black metal surf westen [sic] project."

"So maybe this is a dumb idea," it begins. Hmmmm.

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The ad, in full:

So maybe this is a dumb idea and ill just be doing this by myself but here it is. I want to see if anyone wants to help write songs in the style of black metal and also have elements of surf spaghetti western flamenco doom metal shoegaze and noise. Bands im inspired by at the moment that are relevant: xasthur sunn o ennio morricone ventures dead Kennedy's nadja slowdive. Probably more. I have a few things recorded and just want to see if anyones into the idea. I have a drum machine and would probably just play guitar through mixer and pa. Looking for a bass player or guitar and songwriting help. Not looking to play super loud. About as loud as the pa goes. Wanting to casually add things like violin cello and banjo.

Let's break it down:

So maybe this is a dumb idea and ill just be doing this by myself but here it is

Don't be so hard on yourself, man. You've got a vision.

I want to see if anyone wants to help write songs in the style of black metal and also have elements of surf spaghetti western flamenco doom metal shoegaze and noise.

Holy shit, my brain is reeling from trying to imagine what in the hell that would sound like. Do go on.

Bands im inspired by at the moment that are relevant: xasthur sunn o ennio morricone ventures dead Kennedy's nadja slowdive. Probably more.

Are they relevant, though? To this project? Really? And "probably more"? You aren't sure what other bands you are inspired by? Maybe think for a minute. I'm sure we could pile some more far-reaching and disparate influences into this project.

I have a few things recorded and just want to see if anyones into the idea. I have a drum machine and would probably just play guitar through mixer and pa.

Ah, a drum machine and a guitar played through a PA. So far, so good. This is going to sound great, I can already tell.

Looking for a bass player or guitar and songwriting help. Not looking to play super loud. About as loud as the pa goes.

No need for an actual drummer, I guess. Would probably be louder than the PA, anyway. This is meant to be a hushed affair, guys.

Wanting to casually add things like violin cello and banjo.

Just casually, though. Nothing too serious. Probably just got out of a long-term relationship with a viola or something. Don't want to get hurt again.

All right, listen: I know I'm making fun -- and most of that is because I am honestly not sure if this is really real or not -- but holy hell. If someone actually could pull this off, it would certainly be one of the most innovative new forms of music in the land. So to any potential black-metal-surf-flamenco-shoegaze-spaghetti-westerners out there: Get in touch with this mastermind ASAP. The music world waits with bated breath.

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