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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Five Reasons This Club Sucks

Posted By on Tue, Dec 2, 2014 at 5:02 AM

Page 2 of 2

Photo by Karli Evans
You don't want this to be the only girl at the party.

The Only Ladies in the Club Are Getting Paid to Dance No one likes a sausagefest. If you walk into a room full of slobbering dudes staring at a dancing woman and it's not a strip club, things are going to get weird. It's not that women don't want to meet guys, but being the only group of ladies in a room of dogs can be a harrowing experience. As well, fellas notoriously like to hang out at parties with at least a 50/50 ratio. Or maybe that's too generous and they want to be, like, the only dude in the room. Either way, all guys at a party is not a good sign. Dip out, bruh.

Photo by Todd Owyoung
Behold! The King of unnecessary bullshit! Don't be an Aoki.

Everything But the Music Unless you're just looking to get mollied out and lose your mind, music is key. Even if you are flying high on a drug cocktail that would make Hunter S. Thompson blush, the better the music, the better the experience. If a club is willing to shell out thousands for lighting, dancers, flashy shit they can stick to a champagne bottle, light-up bars that spin and make noise, laser beams that spell out the birthday girl's name and whatever other trendy crap, but they don't have the time to get a good DJ, local or otherwise...that place fucking sucks. Don't feed the troll that is shitty music venues. Do support those places that tirelessly book quality acts, even if they don't have all the finesse of a flashy party palace.


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