Support Local Journalism. Join Riverfront Times Press Club.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Five Reasons This Club Sucks

Posted By on Tue, Dec 2, 2014 at 5:02 AM

Page 2 of 2

dancer_evans.jpg
Photo by Karli Evans
You don't want this to be the only girl at the party.

The Only Ladies in the Club Are Getting Paid to Dance No one likes a sausagefest. If you walk into a room full of slobbering dudes staring at a dancing woman and it's not a strip club, things are going to get weird. It's not that women don't want to meet guys, but being the only group of ladies in a room of dogs can be a harrowing experience. As well, fellas notoriously like to hang out at parties with at least a 50/50 ratio. Or maybe that's too generous and they want to be, like, the only dude in the room. Either way, all guys at a party is not a good sign. Dip out, bruh.

steve_aoki_todd_owyoung.jpg
Photo by Todd Owyoung
Behold! The King of unnecessary bullshit! Don't be an Aoki.

Everything But the Music Unless you're just looking to get mollied out and lose your mind, music is key. Even if you are flying high on a drug cocktail that would make Hunter S. Thompson blush, the better the music, the better the experience. If a club is willing to shell out thousands for lighting, dancers, flashy shit they can stick to a champagne bottle, light-up bars that spin and make noise, laser beams that spell out the birthday girl's name and whatever other trendy crap, but they don't have the time to get a good DJ, local or otherwise...that place fucking sucks. Don't feed the troll that is shitty music venues. Do support those places that tirelessly book quality acts, even if they don't have all the finesse of a flashy party palace.

RFT MUSIC'S GREATEST HITS

The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever "Where Did My Dick Go?" The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations I Pissed Off Megadeth This Week, My (Former) Favorite Band The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue


Tags:

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

October 20, 2021

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2021 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation