Thursday, January 12, 2017

Your Band Could Open for Bon Jovi

Posted By on Thu, Jan 12, 2017 at 6:39 AM

click to enlarge Share the stage with these hunks! - PHOTO BY NORMAN JEAN ROY
  • Photo by Norman Jean Roy
  • Share the stage with these hunks!

New Jersey rock group Bon Jovi is coming to Scottrade Center on February 19, and your band could perform as the opening act.

That's according to one Jon Bon Jovi, singer of the long-running act, who announced an "opening act contest" via Facebook live this week.

To be eligible to win, musicians must upload audition videos to Bon Jovi's official website at this link, or through the Bon Jovi or Live Nation Facebook pages. Submissions will be displayed for viewing and sharing by the public, and Live Nation will whittle the list down to ten potential openers for each date of the band's "This House Is Not for Sale" tour. The members of Bon Jovi will have final say over which act will perform in each city. Submissions for the leg of the tour that includes St. Louis must be turned in by 10 a.m. January 18; winners will be announced on January 27.

"Every great band starts small and builds their rep one show at a time," Jovi said. "That's the opportunity we were given and now we want to pay it forward. If you're ready for the arena stage, submit your audition tapes and join us in playing for the best audiences in rock music."

This is the third time the band has played host to such a contest — 2006’s "Have a Nice Day" tour and 2010’s "The Circle" tour also featured local and regional artists. Though try as they might, no band will ever top the performance of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, who the band rather gamely allowed to sit in for a 2002 performance of "You Give Love a Bad Name." Parody lyrics below:

Humped a shar pei / pulled out too late / Now that bitch has a litter of eight
They eat all the Alpo, right off my plate / Why the hell didn't I just masturbate?!
Oh, I'm a loaded gun! / Here comes Bon Jovi, the pooping's begun!
Look at you guys, have you no shame? / You give poop a bad name!
Crawl back in the butt from whence you came! / You give poop a bad name!
So....yeah. The bar has been set, and its gonna be a hard one to reach. Though for our part, here's hoping Dracla gets the chance to try.

Watch Triumph's, er, triumphant performance below for inspiration:




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