Friday, August 24, 2018

The Democratic Party Is Secretly Fleetwood Mac. Here's Why

Posted By on Fri, Aug 24, 2018 at 9:03 AM

click to enlarge Photo illustration by Evan Sult. Adapted Fleetwood Mac photo by Jonathan Bayer / Flickr, adapted Bill Clinton photo by World Economic Forum / Flickr, adapted Hillary Clinton photo by World Economic Forum / Flickr and adapted Elizabeth Warren photo by NorthEndWaterfront.com / Flickr.

Drama. Bickering. A complete inability to work together peacefully. All of these things describe the history of Fleetwood Mac. All of these things also describe the current state of Democratic party. Coincidence?

Time to tell the truth, Dems. You're really Fleetwood Mac, aren't you? You must be, with the way you're all screwing each other.

The more we think about it, the more the truth underneath all the gold dust and hanging chads seems obvious. Check it out:
  • Both groups are talented and they do their best stuff when they collaborate, but they’re fractured internally.
  • What they produce ranges from weak to brilliant, and while their results are not always great, they’re never entirely bad, either.
  • Just like the Democrats, Fleetwood Mac also had a bit of a revival in the 90s (Bill Clinton’s presidency/The Dance) but they haven’t really been felt dominant since about 1977 (Jimmy Carter’s presidency/Rumours). While the whole world is quick to praise both groups for career-making hits like Rumours and Obamacare, there are plenty of other victories to celebrate. Like, all of the cool kids know that Tusk (DACA!) is where it’s at.
  • Neither group seems to understand that it's still forever stuck together and its members should try not to act like petty little babies. Even worse, they don't seem to realize that if they don’t step up and find a way to regain power, less competent nostalgia acts like the Republicans will take over and then we are all super screwed ... because that’s basically like being stuck with the Eagles.
But on the real: Bill and Hillary Clinton are totally Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. Power couples who have been together since the 1970s, both formed an unbreakable bond while using others to claw their way to the top. And even if it seems to outsiders that sometimes they're at odds, that’s all part of their game. They'll always rejoin. They are a package deal, stuck together forever in the bonds of bigger business.



Bill Clinton is totally Stevie Nicks. They both have weird scratchy voices and they’re both flirts who are allergic to keeping it in their pants. And Hillary is an easy fit for Lindsey Buckingham. First of all, she’s always standing on stage going on and on, just like one of Lindsey’s wanky guitar solos. They’re both fans of a suit jacket and they are both forever having to hold themselves back when what they really want to do is just freak the fuck out.

And now Buckingham is back to a solo career, just like Hillary has returned to solo walks in the woods. But these are all strategic moves. They'll return in the next chapter. The machine stops for no one and they are recurring characters. The DNC (and the Mac) must soldier on.

Once the main characters start taking their places, some things become apparent. Like Mick Fleetwood is obviously Barack Obama because, first of all, have you seen those big balls? And both Mick and Barack kept the beat steady and were the solid backbone of their groups, so they have that in common. They’re also both from another country. (Kidding! We miss you, Obama.)

So who is Elizabeth Warren? She could be Christine McVie, because at first she seems unnecessary, but once you really listen, you realize that every time she opens her mouth she drops bombs. You’ll be like, “What is she moaning about?” and then something clicks and you're like, “Sing it, sister!”

Or maybe Elizabeth Warren is newly-minted Mac member Neil Finn. Oh, yes. That must be it. They both have the same haircut, they’re both far too talented for their current jobs and they’re both trying to catch the deluge in a paper cup.

May we we propose "Don’t Dream It’s Over" for Warren’s 2020 presidential campaign song? (“They come, they come / To build a wall between us / We know they won’t win.”) And while we’re on the topic of campaign songs, it’s more than a little odd that out of all of the songs in the entire world, Bill Clinton picked Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” as his campaign song. Hmmm. He either is Stevie or he totally just wanted to meet her so he could try to tap dat.

Anyway, we have a message for both groups:

We're on to you and your sweet little lies. You can keep pretending you're hopelessly fractured, but we know the truth. Democrats. Fleetwood Mac. Whoever you are, you need to work together for the common good. Don't be such drama queens all the damn time. We need you. And please don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.

P.S. Just in case you're still hungry for more keen political observation: If Fleetwood Mac is the Democratic party, then Peter Green is Andrew Jackson because he started it all. And while Bernie Sanders might also have gotten his start in the 1970s and he plays all of the same venues, he’s not in Fleetwood Mac. Since Sanders is good for everybody and is the chosen favorite on a global scale, he is clearly ABBA. Duh.

Email the author at jaime.lees@riverfronttimes.com
  • Sign up for our weekly newsletters to get the latest on the news, things to do and places to eat delivered right to your inbox.
  • Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

© 2018 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation