Alicia Binford & Shelly Lewis: Their Golf Game Is Indecent

Police were called to Woodlands Golf Course (2839 Harris Lane, Alton) at 2 p.m. Monday after a citizen complained that women were "exposing their sexual organs" on the links. Let the record show that it was not a golfer who made the complaint, but rather someone who could see the women from the road.

Police stationed themselves on Wood Station Road and Woodland Hills Drive on the northeastern side of the golf course. Captain Mike Dixon of the Sheriff's Department confirms that "We set up there because that's where they caller had observed them." And sure enough, they did indeed spot two women exposing their breasts in a lewd fashion.

Those women are Alicia L. Binford, 43, and Shelly L. Lewis, 45. Police duly arrested them on charges of misdemeanor indecency. They were held on a $100 bond, which they have since paid.

So, are Binford and Lewis professionals working one of the East Side's gentlemen's club golf tournaments, where pairs of strippers are stationed at the pins? Or maybe they just upholding Alton's longstanding custom of women exposing themselves to the general public? An employee of Woodlands refused to comment, but Captain Dixon quickly shot down that theory. "No, this was a private party. They're not strippers, they're golfers."

Really fun golfers, to be sure.