And Now, the Worst Super Bowl Commercials

By Aaron Schafer on Tue, Feb 3, 2009 at 9:28 am

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You've seen the best, you've seen the rest, now it's time for the worst.

Yesterday, I covered the very best advertisements that Super Bowl XLIII had to offer. (By the way, why in the world does the NFL insist on using Roman numerals? Every year, I have to dust off my knowledge of them, just so I can figure out what number Super Bowl we're on. It's a pain in the ass.) And any time you have bests, you have to have worsts, right?

To be perfectly honest, I thought that this year's haul of commercials was one of the weakest in recent memory. There were a few pretty great ones, but overall, kind of a letdown. Personally, I blame Anheuser-Busch (or in corporate speak, ABInBev.) For years, they were the unquestioned behemoth of Super Bowl adverts. This year, not so much.

Anyhow, without further ado, let's go to the tape, shall we?

Second Runner Up: Chuck, "1D Promo"

I'm going to put it right out there: I'm a huge fan of Chuck. I love pretty much everything about it. But you know what I don't love? This promo. Why? Because 1D isn't a plane. It's a line, damnit! If they were in 1D, they wouldn't have both a height and width! Son of a bitch! Isn't anyone else angry about this?

For a show that makes a really big deal out of its own nerdiness, that's just weak.

First Runner Up: Budweiser, "Clydesdale Plays Fetch"

You need some proof that humanity isn't so great? This commercial was one of the highest ranked in all the polls I've seen on the best ads. I mean, really?

Look, these commercials were kind of a crap idea from the beginning. Not funny. Not really beer related. Just lowest common denominator, animals-acting-human crap. I hate that kind of stuff to begin with, but it's just getting ridiculous now.

It's time for this horse to get sent to the glue factory, and that dalmatian to go to, um, well, whatever the dalmatian equivalent of a glue factory is.

And the winner (sort of), is...

The Champion: Sobe Life Water, "Monsters vs. Aliens 3D"

Where do I even begin to describe how shitty this was? First off, why is it that every few years someone decides that bringing back 3D is a good idea? I just don't get it. Don't get me wrong; watching the "Three Stooges" throw pies directly at the camera is a lot of fun, yes. But shouldn't we have come up with some better sort of technology in the past 65 years? Or at the very least have realized that it's just not that good of an idea in the first place?

On top of that, well, pretty much everything else about this ad. Who greenlit this thing? We've got lizards dancing, footballers prancing, and none of it seemed to have any kind of point in the least. At least the Sobe ad from last year (which I also hated, by the way), had some vintage"Thriller" action. This was just brutal.

And so, to the good people at Sobe and their awful advertising department, I present to you the Rundown's Worst Super Bowl Advertisement Award for Super Bowl XLIII. Congratulations, Sobe. You guys really earned it.