Manager, Sage & Spirit
"OK, I am confused about people who pretend to be things they're not and why they don't think karma matters."
Examiner, Premier Title & Closing Services
"What confuses me is why drivers do not use the only form of communication available to them, and that is turn signals. Walk through a crowd, you say, 'Excuse me.' Drive through a crowd of traffic, you don't use your signal. Are other drivers supposed to read your mind? You inconsiderate lout!"
Hatter, Abdul's House of Fezzes
"Yeah, I've always wondered why don't the cross-dressers of America come to J. Edgar Hoover's defense?"
Senior Records Clerk, Southwestern Bell
"No, not any more. I've got it all figured out. You make your own confusion. If you're confused and you're trying to figure things out, you're only trying to conform to other people's beliefs. You know what's right and what's wrong, and you decide if you're going to go right or left or down the middle of the road."
"Yeah, there's a guy I work with. He never went to picnics -- he brought his own lunch and ate by himself, never worked overtime. He hated the company. Then one day he became a lead person, and all of a sudden, complete reversal. He started going to all the functions, started working all overtime he could. He became a complete yes man, and it's sickening! I always wanted to ask him why he changed from hating the place to liking it. Is it an act, or what?"
"What confuses me is why do Jamaicans sing about peace and love and then chop each other up with machetes in Kingston?"
Note: This question was so much fun it will be reprised next week.