Bold Prediction: Mike Parson Will Go After Google

Looking ahead to St. Louis in 2023

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click to enlarge Mike Parson speaks from a podium.
Grandpa’s not too good with the internet.

A befuddled Mike Parson, eager to hop aboard the right-wing anti-Big Tech train but very confused by the internet, will accuse Google of hacking after the site autocompletes a phrase in his search bar in a way he doesn't like. At a press conference, Parson will declare that the state is committed to "standing up against any and all perpetrators who attempt to steal personal information and harm Missourians" and will further add that "there is no way Google could have added the word 'idiot' to my search for 'Missouri governor' without hacking into the mainframe of my computer." Journalists at the event will try to explain that it's just a basic function of the site; Parson will respond by having them all arrested.

Welcome to Bold Predictions for 2023, an effort to forecast what the future holds for the St. Louis region.

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About The Author

Daniel Hill

Daniel Hill is editor at large for the Riverfront Times and he demands to be taken seriously, despite all evidence to the contrary. Follow him on Twitter at @rftmusic.
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