McLaughlin, left, Hrabosky, right.
Good announcers, big homers.
Worst of all, though, was the commentary I was forced to listen to from the boys in the booth. Cardinals broadcasters Dan McLaughlin and Al Hrabosky, when confronted with this truly bizarre example of bullpen strategy, went above and beyond the call of duty. They fell on their own swords in a blinding display of stupidity to deflect attention from the manager's blinding display of insanity.
Dan and Al actually had the nerve
to sit there and tell the viewing audience about how Tony will protect
the bullpen. He'll make sure that they're taken care of, that they
aren't overused, that none of the eight guys down there in the 'pen are
forced to take one for the team just because the starters are putting
this extra pressure on them. At this point, I actually had to mute the
action temporarily, because I felt the blood behind my eyes beginning
to turn into steam.
So Tony is protecting the bullpen? Really? That's bullshit, and even Dan and Al, scions of why we need Fire Joe Morgan
back, should be able to grasp it. Tony isn't protecting anything; Tony
is the reason the bullpen is always seemingly on the verge of collapse.
How many warm-up tosses do his relievers throw, not in a close game in
which they may have to come in at a moment's notice, but in games where
he just wants to feel like he's doing something? He gets guys up, then
cancels, then gets them back up, then cancels again, all with a
scenario in mind that has a three percent chance of occurring two
innings from now.
You know what I want? I want a manager who, rather than being familiar with Occam's Razor
in a legal sense, is actually capable of employing it every now and
again. The simplest solution, you say? Why, that's preposterous!
If
you're going to carry this ponderous, ridiculously large bullpen, then
at least use it in a way that makes sense. The Cardinals just had to
have a long man on the roster, yet when a situation tailor-made for a
long man comes along, what does the manager do? He burns through three
relievers to get the job done, including one of his lefty specialists
that he simply can't live without. The Cards play with a short bench
night after night, one without any appreciable pop on it (due to the
fact that the only thing Tony loves more than middle relievers is
middle infielders who struggle to slug their weight), just so they can
keep this self-indulgent parade of relievers coming in waves, and then
Tony uses three arms just to do what one is on the roster specifically
to do.
It's enough to drive a man to drink, I tell you.
