Busch Stadium Named Cleanest in the U.S. by Disgusting Website

Oct 3, 2012 at 7:55 am
So clean you could eat off of it.
So clean you could eat off of it.

Hooray! Busch Stadium, the home of our beloved Cards, has been named the cleanest stadium in America. But before we get to the accolades, a word about the judging entity.

The website that rolled out the rankings is known as UFE.com a.k.a. Urine Feces Everywhere. It pontificates about the possibility of urine and/or feces being present in drinking fountains, on cell phones, gym equipment, handbags -- everywhere! They hashtag their tweets #UrineFecesEverywhere.

In short, UFE = WTF. But we digress.

The site says it's written by "writers, researchers, and healthcare professionals dedicated to opening the public's eyes to hidden health concerns that we are exposed to in our daily lives." This crack team claims to have gone to all 30 stadiums around the country to observe the state of the bathrooms and the behavior of relieving fans. And then they turned stool pigeon on 'em.

Hilariously, our old friends at Wrigley Field (Home of the Double-Barrel Blowjob Backstop) got the absolute worst rating for having trough urinals filled with beer cups and urinal cakes and, presumably, urine and feces. A whopping 79 percent of male Chicago fans did not wash their hands. Eew, Chicago, you nasty! From the UFExperts:

Our staff lightheartedly refers to attending a Cub's game as committing UFEnasia. UFEnasia is the deliberate or non-deliberate act of exposing yourself to the Urine and Feces of many different unsanitary Wrigley Field Fans. The fans are not the only culprits in this study however. Out of all 30 MLB stadiums, the staff at Wrigley ranked very poor as well. There were many times that a vendor (both mobile and stationary) lacked appropriate handling gloves whiles serving food and beverage. These vendors would take money from fans, and then take that same hand to pass them their food or drink...not good.

We here in St. Louis, however, had nothing to hide and got the only A-rating in the country with a score of 91.