Does Josh Hawley Own More Than One Shirt?

Signs point to no

By Monica Obradovic on Thu, Sep 28, 2023 at 6:22 am

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He can afford a million dollar mansion in Virginia but can’t afford to keep more than 1 shirt in Missouri for the rare occasion he visits? pic.twitter.com/muLsAeI0Uz
— Clint Crabtree (@Clint_Crabtree1) September 26, 2023

With all the time Josh Hawley spends defending his manhood, running away from mobs he incited and getting verbally slapped by people who actually know things, surely the last thing that's on the senator's mind is what to wear. That shows.

Hawley made a rare appearance in Missouri last weekend to show face among autoworkers on strike in Wentzville. While many were quick to point out the irony (Hawley has previously sided against stances held by organized labor), those especially perceptive to Hawley's hypocrisy noticed a pattern in his caring-human cosplay.

The man has worn the same "Missourah" outfit almost every time he's decided to grace his constituents with his presence.

See below, a montage compiled by former Senate candidate and Pothole Nemesis C.W. Gardner.

"Time to go be a phony in Missourah. I better throw on my "Missourah outfit." I only wear it when I visit my old home state. Nobody'll notice, right?"

- J. Hawley (@HawleyMO)#HawleyTheMusical #DontCryForMeRuralMissourah https://t.co/1lF2mA5PFW pic.twitter.com/n7zU0KE5I1
— C.W. "Mr. 2000" Gardner 🪓🚪🖋⛏🛴 (@cwg18) September 26, 2023

Nothing tells Missourians "I'm one of you" like an Army-green shirt and a sturdy pair of jeans.

The same fit pops up in multiple pictures captured by local journalists and the senator's team. Here's Hawley, as captured by his spokespeople, touring last summer's flood damage in the shirt and jeans (seems like quite a warm choice for the height of summer, but alas, he may have only one costume). Here's Hawley in the same garb again with Senator Eric Schmitt on the campaign trail last November. And here Hawley is in it once again, at a presser with activists demanding nuclear waste cleanup in St. Louis County in July.

We might be able to find more occurrences, but there's only so much of his smug face we can stand to see in one day.

Maybe there's only so many outfits he can fit in a duffel bag on lobbyists' private planes. Or does his sister only allow him one drawer in the house he's used as his Missouri address? It's a mystery.

Spectrum News reported that Hawley made the trip to the United Auto Workers picket lines a day after his Democrat opponents St. Louis County Prosecutor Wesley Bell and veteran Lucas Kunce showed up. Maybe he'll eventually learn to copy their humanity, too.