Epic Fail: Chainsaw Thief Caught Hitchhiking Away From Crime

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Donald Aten - bnd.com
Donald Aten
Donald F. Aten of Belleville may have gotten away with the crime if he hadn't lost his cell phone, tried hitchhiking away from the scene with a stolen chainsaw and wasn't so gosh-darned drunk.

But, alas, it was not to be for poor Mr. Aten.

The Belleville News-Democrat reports today that sheriff deputies picked up Aten, 42, around 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning (Sept. 19) as he tried to hitchhike down Illinois 15 while carrying the stolen tree trimmer.

Minutes earlier, the deputies had responded to a call from a Belleville resident reporting "moaning sounds coming from the rear seat" of a vehicle parked in his garage. As the homeowner called 9-1-1, he reportedly witnessed Aten emerge from the garage carrying the chainsaw.

Aten was found a few blocks away standing on the shoulder of the road -- one hand gripping the chainsaw and the other one giving the "thumbs up" to passing cars.

When arrested, the visibly intoxicated Aten asked the deputies if they had found his cellphone. A subsequent search of the victim's back yard turned up Aten's LG flip phone, a flashlight and four empty cans of Miller Lite and a full bottle of wine.

Aten remains in custody on a $75,000 bail.

Now, perhaps if he were only drinking Bud Light that night...

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