Erik Bedard Is a Pain In the Ass

Mar 12, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Or, well, at least, he
click to enlarge What sort of picture were you expecting?
What sort of picture were you expecting?
Okay, so it isn't quite as good as Kaz Matsui's time on the DL last year to recover from an anal fissure (good from the perspective of making for excellent sports writing fodder; I assume that actually having an anal fissure is a fair ways removed from good), but it appears that Erik Bedard is the clubhouse leader for the 2009 edition of the embarrassing injury all star team. 

See, Erik Bedard has a sore butt. 

It seems the former Orioles hurler, who was dealt to the Seattle Mariners prior to the 2008 season, is apparently dealing with soreness of the assal region, medically speaking. Up to this point in his career, Bedard has been known for being fragile, but most of his issues have dealt with his arm. This, though, this... is something new.
My favorite part of the whole article? When Bedard's pitching coach, Don Wakumatsu, goes to bat for his lefty and just makes it all much worse -- and funnier: 

"He had some stiffness in there about four days ago, and we thought it was best at this point to rest it a little bit." 
You know, as hard as I try, I just can't silence the thirteen year-old in me who thinks that hearing a guy's ass is sore because he had some stiffness in there a few days back is the funniest thing in the world. 

However, I will claim victory over my inner teenage boy in one sense. As tough as it is, I will not, under any circumstances, make a joke about thinking Erik Bedard played for Seattle, not San Francisco. 

I also managed, back in the intro, not to bring up the fact that Kaz Matsui, he of the torn ass, is, in fact, a switch hitter. So there. 

I feel kind of bad about myself now.