Ex-Coroner Facing Charges for Smoking Meth Inside Hearse

May 27, 2015 at 10:00 am
click to enlarge Claire Fisher approves. - Flickr via That Hartford Guy
Flickr via That Hartford Guy
Claire Fisher approves.

We may have jokingly dubbed a swath of southeast Missouri "Meth-o-potamia" for its plentiful tweakers, but it's western Missouri's Ray County, just an hour's drive from Kansas City, that's making a strong push to claim that title for itself.

That's thanks to Toby Polley -- funeral home operator and, up until early March, Ray County's elected coroner.

It was February 24, nearly midnight, when Polley was allegedly spotted smoking meth in a white hearse in the parking lot of Argosy Casino. Security guards told Riverside Police that a surveillance camera had spotted "a male sitting in a white hearse, smoking a white substance out of a glass pipe," reported Fox4KC.

When an officer arrived to investigate, Polley identified himself as the Ray County Coroner. In fact, Polley said he'd just dropped off a body. But, in a move that likely confirmed he was high off his goddamn gourd, Polley then asked the officer if he would like to see a "suit of armor" he'd bought at Marshall's.

See also: Scientist Says Meth Isn't So Bad, Doesn't Even Cause Ugliness or Tooth Loss

Toby Polley.
Toby Polley.

Naturally, that's when the officer searched Polley's hearse. Tucked inside the passenger seat, he found a white substance that appeared to be meth and a glass pipe

After his arrest, Polley told police that he'd actually confiscated the meth and pipe from an employee earlier that week. Polley explained that he'd decided to try the notorious amphetamine because, according to Fox4KC, "it was there" and to "see what the deal was with it."

Polley was released from custody that night, but it wasn't until March 9 that he officially resigned as Ray County Coroner.

Last week, Platte County Prosecuting Attorney Eric Zahnd filed charges against Polley for felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor possession of paraphernalia. Polley was arrested on a warrant on Friday and posted a $10,000 bond. His next court date is June 18.

As with all drug-related stories, Daily RFT hope Polley gets the help he needs and that the good name of Ray County will be restored to its former, not-smoking-meth-in-a-hearse glory. But if we're being honest, we're really hoping this inspires somebody to produce a combined spin-off of Breaking Bad and Six Feet Under.

Are you listening, HBO and AMC? We would watch the hell out of that show.

Follow Danny Wicentowski on Twitter at @D_Towski. E-mail the author at [email protected]