F*ck This Sh*t It Is Too F*cking Hot in St. Louis

And it's going to be like this for days

Cranky from the heat? Us, too.

The world is a dumpster fire (St. Louis is, in particular) and everything is f*cked, and the future looks bleak. We’re all going down, but must we go down in flames, too? This global warming thing is no f*cking joke.

Yes, we know the difference between weather and global warming. But before you start telling us that “it’s supposed to be hot in St. Louis in July, you hippies,” please know that we’ve already taken that into consideration and decided that this current heat is just too much. It has gone beyond.

This heat is unforgivable. This heat tried to have sex with our grandma. This heat doesn't pick up after its dog. This heat paints wood window trim. This heat puts ketchup on steak.

According to the National Weather Service in St. Louis, this is just the beginning of a two-day stretch of brutal, dangerously high-heat days. Temperatures are expected to reach over 100 today and tomorrow, and heat indices may reach as high as 110 degrees. It looks like we’ll have a bit of a cooldown on Thursday:  On that day, the temperature is expected to reach a mere 99.

St. Louis has been placed under an Excessive Heat Warning until this wave passes. During that time, the National Weather Service reminds all St. Louisans to drink plenty of water and wear lightweight clothes to prevent overheating and dehydration. And for the love of God, please keep an extra eye on children and pets and make sure not to leave them in your car.

If you have nowhere to shelter on your own or your air conditioner just isn’t cutting it today, you can visit one of the many cooling centers in the St. Louis area to rest and rehydrate.

About The Author

Jaime Lees

Jaime Lees is the digital content editor for the Riverfront Times.
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