FYI: If You Plan to Trick-or-Treat in Belleville, You Must Be Under 13 and Done By 8 p.m.

There oughta be a law. A law against those hormonal tweens who show up at my house each Halloween. You know the ones I'm talking about.

The kids who bang on the door long after I've turned off the porch light and counted up all the leftover fun-size Butterfingers I have for myself. (Kids hate Butterfingers, but I sure do like 'em.)

Anyway, these teens have no business trick-or-treating. More than that, most of them don't even try. True story: I had a kid -- maybe 14 or 15 -- show up at my house wearing a purple stocking cap and a pink turtleneck. I asked him what he was, and he replied, "a penis!" What the hell kinda costume is that?! Can you imagine?

No, there needs to be a law against this kind of behavior -- showing up at people's homes at all hours of the night dressed like genitalia and demanding candy. People need to sleep. Hell, some of us have to work in the morning.

Wait? What's that you say? Belleville has such a law? You say it's illegal for people over the age of 12 to trick-or-treat and that everyone has to finish trick-or-treating by 8 p.m.?  Good God! Now there is a city that knows how to govern. Hats off to you.