Have You Ever Experienced a "Covered Wagon" or "Dutch Oven"?

Nov 17, 1999 at 4:00 am
Joe Kelley
Owner, Sports Attic

"As far as I know, only my own. Any other 'scents' in the vicinity, I can't vouch for. If it didn't come from me, I don't know what it could be -- a covered wagon or a dioxin site. I don't ask any questions."

Christopher Quain

"I was a roadie for the band called Dynatones, and Big Walter Shufflesworth -- that was his stage name -- would eat radishes and drink lots of beer. We'd all be in this Lincoln and he would lock all the windows and let loose with the most gaggingly putrescent funk, and then he would laugh, he would giggle with glee, the fiend! It was like a chemical spill at Monsanto, like driving through Sauget. The only recourse was to open the doors at 70 mph."

Diana Meade
Picture Framer, The Framery

"Personally I take precautions to avoid being, you know, the offender, so I use what I call 'date pills' -- Gas-X -- and I feel that if I'm going to be considerate to take such precautions, I would expect the same from someone else. You know, it's embarrassing for everybody."

Mike Lang
Clerk, Big Choice Video

"Oh God, yes! Actually, I consider it part of my M.O. I think the most difficult part is convincing your victim to get into the bed -- that's pre-Dutch oven. After that it's easy."

Matt Behrens
Staff Psychologist, Funny Bone Comedy Club

"I don't appreciate being on the receiving end of that dirty trick, but I think it'd be funny if I did it to someone else -- and then deny it. I suppose that as long as they're not up against me where I can feel the heat it wouldn't bother me so much, but if I could feel the heat it would bother me."

Marty Johnson
Cartoonist, The Nerd Table, UM-St. Louis' Current

"Unfortunately, I've been on the receiving end of 'the oven.' Even more humiliating, it was at the hands -- well, colon -- of my very gassy dog, who sleeps under the covers and occasionally lets a few stinkers go. Let's just say I'm afraid to light a match, or my bed would go up like the Hindenburg."