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The year in review: A quiz (For answers, see last page)

1. What newspaper, which celebrated its 125th anniversary in February, is the longest continuously running newspaper in the state?
a) The St. Louis American.

b) The St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

c) Washington University's Student Life.

d) The Evening Whirl.

2. Wade Funeral Home on Natural Bridge Avenue has created viewing rooms that honor the pastimes of the deceased. Which is the most popular funeral package?
a) The KSHE 95 farewell, complete with a disc jockey spinning REO Speedwagon and huge pans of mostacciolli.

b) The fixer-upper tribute, which includes lumber to build the casket and shovels to bury the deceased.

c) The Martha Stewart Room, in which mourners can make their own candles and decorate the rosewood casket with colors and textures inspired by English country gardens.

d) Big Mama's Kitchen, complete with a can of Crisco sitting atop a stove, Wonder Bread on the fridge and a dinette table loaded with real fried chicken.

3. What happened when cargo pilot Saleem Iqbal and his copilot, Mohammed Saleh, tried to land their plane at Lambert International Airport?
a) They were thought to be terrorists.

b) Air traffic control rerouted and delayed their landing so long that they ran out of gas.

c) Their plane crashed into the Mississippi River and they almost drowned before being rescued.

d) They were hailed as heroes.

e) All of the above.

4. Which of the following is not a new rule for St. Louis-area taxi drivers?
a) They must wear white shirt, black pants.

b) They must be able to communicate effectively in English.

c) They must inform passengers headed downtown that they'd save $30 if they just hopped on MetroLink.

d) They must prove they know their way around the city.

5. Former St. Louis Archbishop Justin Rigali suffered from two health ailments this year that made the headlines. What were they?
a) A cold and the flu.

b) A broken arm and eczema.

c) Prostate cancer and shingles.

d) Skin cancer and a sprained ankle.

6. Raymond Burke, the archbishop-elect of St. Louis, supported spending $25 million on what project in his former diocese in La Crosse, Wisconsin?
a) A shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe.

b) A project to build new housing for the poor.

c) Contraceptives to stem AIDS and starvation in Africa.

d) A campaign to rid the world of Harry Potter books.

7. Why didn't Eastman Kodak want its vintage 1928 sign, located on an art deco jewel at 1009 Olive Street, to be seen in the movie The Game of Their Lives?
a) Kodak didn't want to be associated with a building the firm no longer owned.

b) The company didn't want to pay the filmmakers $1 million.

c) Kodak thinks soccer fans are Eurotrash drunks.

d) Kodak deplores the idea of consumers seeing the company's name.

8. Where must teens under the age of seventeen be accompanied by an adult after 6 p.m.?
a) St. Louis school board meetings.

b) Northwest Plaza.

c) The Family Arena in St. Charles.

d) The City Museum.

9. According to the American Tort Reform Association, who or what is a "judicial hellhole"?
a) Missouri Supreme Court Justice Ronnie White.

b) Madison County, Illinois.

c) The proposed new courtrooms at the Old Post Office.

d) St. Louis city courts jury pool, Monday, 9 a.m.

10. Clayton homeowners are required to carry extra insurance if they own:
a) Guns.

b) Vicious dogs.

c) A swimming pool.

d) Teenagers.

e) All of the above.

11. Nearly 300 "freedom suits" were found in Missouri courts. Freedom suits are:
a) Lawsuits filed by women who hate girdles.

b) Cases filed by children who want to be emancipated from their parents.

c) Courthouse slang used for divorce petitions.

d) Suits filed by slaves before the Civil War asking courts to grant them freedom.

12. On May 17, three men were barred entry from the Cheshire Inn because they were wearing dreadlocks. Instead of apologizing, Jack Lueders, then-president of the corporation that operates the establishment, was defiant. What was his defense?
a) "You can't wash that hair, and it stinks, and we're a crowded bar, and we don't want stinky people in the bar."

b) "Reggae sucks, and don't even get me started on dancehall."

c) "A couple Rastas once sold me some dirtweed they said was skank. I thought that was them."

d) "We thought they were Milli Vanilli."

13. St. Louis-based Build-A-Bear recalled 80,000 "Founding Bears" because of a choking hazard. What part of the chocolate-brown stuffed bear was the company worried about?
a) The eyes.

b) The bow tie.

c) The nose.

d) The underpants.

Match the quote with the Christian:
14. "The Lord shall smite Francis Slay and anyone who helps him with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword and with blasting and with mildew; and the angel of the Lord shall pursue Francis Slay until he perishes."

15. "We've done everything we can do physically. I don't think it hurts to ask for some help from the Man Upstairs."

16. "We'll just see what God has in store for me down the road, and I'm willing to do whatever he wants me to do, wherever he wants me to go. My thoughts and my heart are always open to that."

17. "I tell you what, riches and things are just not all they're cracked up to be. The more you have, the more stress you have."

a) Rams quarterback Kurt Warner, after being benched.

b) Jim Bakker, who made his triumphant return to television in Branson, Missouri.

c) Murphysburo, Illinois mayor Ron Williams, whose city is losing its major employer, Bemis Printing.

d) St. Louis Board of Education member Rochell Moore.

18. Who said, "You need a deep commitment to the value set that integrates it into culture," at the World Economic Forum's January meeting, which addressed restoring public faith in corporations?
a) Boeing CEO Phillip Condit.

b) Chase Park Plaza developer Bill Stallings.

c) Corporate raider Carl Icahn.

d) Saint Louis University president Lawrence Biondi.

19. "They are like Pepé Le Pew. They're charming and wonderful at heart, but on the whole they stink." The Rev. Bruce McCoy, pastor of the Canaan Baptist Church, issued this statement in regard to:
a) The French.

b) Dreadlocks.

c) A proposed Oakville trash-transfer center.

d) The St. Louis Cardinals.

20. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, which St. Louis team was "flattered" when Walter Dean walked out of a halfway house and passed himself off as a member of the squad?
a) The St. Louis Cardinals.

b) The St. Louis Rams.

c) The St. Louis Blues.

d) The Sanford-Brown Indians.

21. Identity thief Elander Mark Lachney was arrested this year for impersonating which St. Louis sports personality?
a) Rams cornerbacker Jarametrius Butler.

b) Blues forward Keith Tkachuk.

c) KMOX radio sportscaster Ron Jacober.

d) Cardinals relief pitcher Jason Isringhausen.

22. Which of the following was a warning issued by Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon's office?
a) If you get a letter congratulating you on winning the Spanish lottery, don't believe it.

b) Lotions that promise to increase your penis size by 75 percent in fact only increase it by 65 percent.

c) Former Liberian president Charles Taylor does not need your help securing his assets from an offshore account.

d) Don't eat the brown acid.

e) All of the above.

Match the indiscretion with the public official:
23. Hazelwood School Board member Robert Berry.

24. Washington Park Mayor Sherman Sorrel.

25. Olivette City Councilman Rick Millner.

26. East St. Louis Police Chief Ronald Matthews.

a) Member of board that voted to award his son, who was the only applicant, the Irvin J. Zeid Community Service Scholarship.

b) Allowing a twenty-year-old woman to drive his city-issued car, convicted of driving with a suspended license.

c) Unauthorized use of city car, convicted of aggravated unlawful use of a weapon.

d) Convicted of stalking wife, damaging property and resisting arrest.

27. Which high-profile St. Louisan fell victim to car theft in November?
a) Mayor Francis Slay.

b) Building commissioner Ron Smith.

c) Police Chief Joe Mokwa.

d) Mayor Slay's son.

28. How often is a car stolen in St. Louis?
a) Every two minutes.

b) Twice an hour.

c) Every 43 minutes.

d) Every time Police Chief Joe Mokwa blinks.

29. Which is not a symptom of monkeypox, which hit the Midwest this summer?
a) Fever.

b) Rash.

c) Wrinkling nose like a prairie dog.

d) Dizziness.

30. Mizzou basketball player Ricky Clemons entered a guilty plea to what offense?
a) Failing to return his library books in a timely fashion.

b) Jaywalking on the campus of the KU Jayhawks.

c) Third-degree assault and false imprisonment.

d) Traveling.

31. When St. Louis University High School alum Sean Deveraux, 21, grabbed his camera and took pictures in his Columbia apartment after a basketball game in April, what images did he capture?
a) A group of students in a heated debate over the Patriot Act's impact on civil rights.

b) His swanky pad decorated with the latest furniture from House of Denmark.

c) Naked co-eds playing checkers.

d) Iowa State University's head basketball coach Larry Eustachy drinking beer and kissing young women on the cheek.

32. What infraction got a male UMSL student suspended and agitated women across campus?
a) Yelling "You're a water buffalo" to a pregnant woman who pulled into his parking spot in the campus lot.

b) Running naked through grand-opening ceremonies at the Blanche M. Touhill Performing Arts Center.

c) Sneaking into the women's restroom dressed as a woman, then videotaping women in the next stall with a video camera concealed in a bag on the floor.

d) Crashing a Women's Studies holiday party dressed as Hootie Johnson.

Match the injury with the person:
33. City of St. Louis press secretary Ed Rhode.

34. Mizzou blabbermouth Ricky Clemons.

35. Missouri Governor Bob Holden.

36. Webster University student Gretchen Porro.

a) Minor injuries while driving all-terrain vehicle.

b) Punctured lung playing softball.

c) Lost finger playing at the City Museum.

d) Fractured ribs, a punctured lung and a cut on his chin while driving all-terrain vehicle.

37. Who spoke at three churches the day before school started in the city of St. Louis?
a) Presidential candidate Al Sharpton.

b) Interim superintendent William V. Roberti.

c) School board member Vincent P. Schoemehl Jr.

d) Man about town Beatle Bob.

e) All of the above.

38. What did St. Louis school board member Bill Haas invite interim superintendent William Roberti to do in a tersely worded e-mail?
a) "Go to hell."

b) "Kiss my ass."

c) "Take your blood-pressure medicine and retire."

d) "Lick the scum from my Dingo boots."

e) b and c.

f) b and d.

39. Speaking of e-mails, in March St. Louis activist Eric Vickers resigned from his post as the head of the American Muslim Council in part because of an e-mail message he sent. The message:
a) Praised George Bush for his stance on going to war with Iraq.

b) Suggested that the space shuttle Columbia disaster might have been a message from God.

c) Announced he was running for a spot on the St. Louis school board.

d) Disclosed that he was taking a job with Joyce Meyer Ministries.

40. House Majority Whip Roy Blunt was scolded by colleagues after he attempted to sneak a last-minute provision into the bill that created the Department of Homeland Security. The provision, which would have made it harder to sell tobacco over the Internet and would have cracked down on the sale of contraband cigarettes, was removed by House Speaker Dennis Hastert. Who among Blunt's personal relations is not a current or former tobacco lobbyist?
a) Son Matt.

b) Son Andrew.

c) Wife Abigail.

d) Pet pit bull Marlboro.

e) a and d.

f) c and d.

41. Senator Bond fired his communications director, Ernie Blazar, after Bond viewed this Web site Blazar had constructed:
a), featuring the nasty girls of the Democratic Party.

b), a Beltway call-girl service aimed at scoring pillow-talk secrets from horny Dems.

c), after the number on the tail of the plane that crashed in 2000 killing Democratic Governor Mel Carnahan.

d), a site devoted to plots to assassinate Democratic presidential candidates.

42. Why did Madison County Judge Nicholas Byron make national headlines in March?
a) He agreed with claims that Madison County's excessive verdicts were responsible for a number of case filings that had nothing to do with the county or its residents.

b) He said he would no longer accept judicial campaign contributions from plaintiffs' lawyers.

c) He announced that he was stepping down from the bench in order to become in-house counsel for a national railroad.

d) He handed down a $10.1 billion verdict against cigarette makers in a class-action lawsuit that charged the makers of "light" cigarettes engaged in fraud.

43. What did a convicted robber do before a judge in Belleville in hopes of a lighter sentence?
a) Gave her roses.

b) Sang a hymn asking for forgiveness.

c) Got down on his knees and prayed.

d) Flashed his convincing smile -- the same one he used when he robbed Taco Bell twice.

e) All of the above.

44. Which is a new U.S. Forest Service plan to preserve the Mark Twain National Forest?
a) Ban all-terrain vehicles.

b) Open trails to all-terrain vehicles to study their effects on the ecosystem.

c) Ban all animals.

d) Burn the forest down to the ground.

45. What controversial statement did Kurt Warner's wife Brenda make on local radio that made headlines around the nation?
a) "I'm a lesbian."

b) "I'm having an affair with Mike Martz."

c) "We are converting to Islam."

d) "We want to play."

46. How did the Missouri State High School Activities Association discover that Clayton High School quarterback Jairus Byrd was ineligible?
a) Byrd passed out bars of soap from his Earth City hotel to his offensive linemen in front of an MSHSAA official.

b) Ladue High's athletics director reported the infraction.

c) Clayton High called the activities association to inquire about Byrd's eligibility after Ladue coaches raised the issue.

d) A Clayton parent narked on the QB because his "kid is faster than Byrd and never gets to play."

47. In anticipation of Parkway North's appearance at the state high school baseball championships, four Vikings starters prepared in the following way:
a) Stayed home, got a good night's rest and thought long and hard about the glory of America's game.

b) Sacrificed a freshman as an offering to the gods.

c) Rallied around shortstop Tim Clawson, who had lost three limbs at the City Museum the day before.

d) Secured live chickens and put them in a box, then pulled black ski masks over their heads and stormed the school.

48. The river town of Kimmswick, Missouri, aims to raise money for street improvements and sidewalks by:
a) Selling sandbags commemorating the ten-year anniversary of the Flood of '93.

b) Charging archaeologists to hunt for dinosaur bones at Mastodon State Historic Site.

c) Selling 3,000 bottles of donated wine online.

d) Bottling "crazy water" from the fourteen mineral springs in the area.

49. St. Louis guitarist Willie Woods filed a lawsuit claiming he was denied the credit and copyright ownership for what hit song?
a) "Po' Folks" by Nappy Roots.

b) "Air Force Ones" by Nelly.

c) "Right Thurr" by Chingy.

d) "Cowboys Like Us" by George Strait.

50. Boeing's Integrated Defense Systems will invest about $20 million in this new facility in St. Louis:
a) A virtual food pantry.

b) A space station simulator.

c) A virtual war center.

d) An urban combat training area.

51. In May the University of Missouri-St. Louis decided against awarding an honorary doctorate to former TWA top executive William F. Compton during the school's summer commencement. What was the school's rationale?
a) "Our records indicated he flunked calculus."

b) "We determined that American Airlines CEO Gerard Arpey now owns any doctorate previously earned by Mr. Compton."

c) "Fuck him."

d) "The timing wasn't right."

52. What action did East St. Louis Mayor Carl E. Officer vow to take when the clock strikes midnight on December 31?
a) Party like it's 1999.

b) Declare East St. Louis the Topless Bar Capital of the World.

c) Refuse to renew any liquor licenses in the city of sauce.

d) Kiss Dick Clark.

It was a busy year for area prosecutors who handle crimes involving animals. Match the criminal defendant's name with the case that was filed against them:
53. Michael T. Welch.

54. Kathy Hart.

55. Kevin McAfee.

56. Mary C. Mahne.

57. Natalie Peplin-Sobelman.

a) Convicted of killing a horse; facing charges of sexual conduct with a horse (in a separate incident).

b) Acquitted of animal abuse after plucking nearly all the feathers off a cockatiel.

c) Charged with felony animal abuse and misdemeanor animal cruelty after allegedly starving approximately 30 cats, which drove some of them to eat each other.

d) Received probation for killing a dog with a hammer.

e) Owned 49 cats, 3 dogs and 2 ferrets and pleaded guilty to child endangerment after the home the owner also shared with grandchildren was found soiled with animal feces and urine.

58. Why were afternoon drive-time hosts Woody and the Whipping Boy of KPNT-FM (105.7, the Point) pulled off the air by station management?
a) They were nastier than Howard Stern.

b) They were boring.

c) Advertisers determined all their listeners were too stoned to leave the house.

d) Photos from a wet T-shirt contest on the station's Web site were dubbed too racy.

e) All of the above.

59. How did police discover an explicit videotape that included seven teenage boys and girls from St. Peters posing and performing sex acts?
a) One of the girls sent the pictures to a contest at Hustler magazine.

b) A raid on an Internet-based porn business in Florissant turned up the images.

c) One of the boys downloaded a nude digital image onto his cell phone and then tried to sell copies.

d) Everyone was talking about it.

60. Which was not a wedding gift received by Senator Christopher "Kit" Bond?
a) Silver serving pieces from fellow GOP Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and his wife, U.S. Labor Secretary Elaine Chao.

b) Silver place settings from Andrea Mitchell and Alan Greenspan.

c) An antique bread board and knife from Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist of Tennessee and his wife, Karyn.

d) A carton of Camel Filters from House Majority Whip Roy Blunt and his wife, Abigail.

St. Louis city departments were ordered to slash budgets by 10 percent this year to help offset a $54 million shortfall. Yet four of Mayor Francis Slay's employees received bonuses or raises. Match the employee with the buckage:
61. Executive assistant Robbyn Wahby.

62. Receptionist Dianne White-Clatto.

63. Special assistant Rita Kirkland.

64. Assistant Jennifer Wingo.

a) Received a 10 percent raise, lifting her salary from $75,400 to $82,940.

b) Received a $3,403 bonus.

c) Received a $9,874 bonus.

d) Received a 45 percent raise, resulting in a salary of $54,938 instead of $38,012.

65. A High Ridge man faced fraud charges for allegedly selling $110,000 worth of these on eBay:
a) Counterfeit Applebee's certificates.

b) Stolen pot-bellied pigs.

c) "Unbelievable business opportunities" in Nigeria.

d) Bogus baseball cards signed by Mark McGwire.

66. Which area sexual indiscretion did not occur in 2003?
a) Aaron R. Roberts found guilty of trading Xanax for sex.

b) Nursing home aide James A. Campbell charged with giving oral sex to an unwilling 83-year-old male patient.

c) William Stanton charged with impersonating shoe-store salesman in order to fondle women's feet.

d) Ex-KPNT DJ Michael Cook pleaded guilty of performing sex acts with a thirteen-year-old girl

67. What was in a box bound for Richard Leutheuser's Kirkwood home when the box began leaking at the Maplewood FedEx distribution center?
a) Liquid nitrogen.

b) An exceedingly rare 1893 Bordeaux.

c) A human arm and two legs.

d) Pimp Juice.

68. Which of the following is not a Nelly-owned company?
a) Stitches for Bitches.

b) Pimp Juice.

c) Apple Bottoms.

d) Vokal.

Match the lyric with the St. Louis artist who rapped it:
69. Nelly.

70. Da Hol 9.

71. Chingy.

72. Murphy Lee.

a) "Took a chick in the bathroom seeing what's poppin'/You know what's on my mind/Shirts off and panties dropping."

b) "I like my Booties and my Boobs like a capital letter 'B'/That's how it is, how it better be."

c) "I like the cocky bow legged ones/Like white and Dominicans/Hispanics and Asians."

d) "Givin' me a picture show/Baby girl I got a blistered toe/ But you shakin' that ass, like Mystikal."

73. St. Louis Rapper Pretty Willie Suella this year changed his name to:
a) P. Diddy.

b) P. Dub.

c) Prettier Than Nelly Suella.

d) Dub Puddy.

74. Why did KTVI-TV (Channel 2) reporter Andrew Banker and photographer Lynn Henzel fear for their lives this year?
a) A man who was angry over a story tried to run over them with his car.

b) They saw Dick Ford with his shirt off.

c) They discovered their station's share of the market dipped to 10 percent in the November sweeps.

d) "You Paid for It" reporter Elliott Davis started looking at their expense accounts.

75. In May Kevin O'Rourke, director of SLU's Center for Health Care Ethics, was quoted as saying: "You got into this ceremony the same way Pontius Pilate got into the Creed. By accident." To whom was he referring?
a) House Majority Whip Roy Blunt.

b) St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist Bill McClellan.

c) St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay's PR flack Richard Callow.

d) St. Louis Rams second-string quarterback Kurt Warner.

76. How did police catch a robbery suspect in Des Peres?
a) Her four-inch heel broke and she twisted her ankle while she was running to the getaway car.

b) He spent money lavishly and boasted about his crime to a waitress at a topless club in Sauget.

c) He got stuck in traffic on Interstate 40, then jumped out of his car and ran.

d) He tried to open a money market account at A.G. Edwards with the booty.

77. A University of Missouri study determined that rural Missouri men have lower sperm counts and quality than their counterparts in Minneapolis. The most likely reason is:
a) Pesticides.

b) Radioactive soil.

c) Hicks prefer briefs, northerners prefer boxers.

d) Rural Missourians "aren't real men."

e) All of the above.

78. Who said this about the design for the proposed new Cardinals stadium: "It is a disturbing statement about St. Louis that we are currently looking to the past for concepts which are really ones of style, not true design ideas."
a) Post-Dispatch majority shareholder Emily Pulitzer.

b) Mayor Francis Slay.

c) Former Cardinals first baseman Mark McGwire.

d) Mary Engelbreit.

79. Who showed up at the St. Patrick's Day parade in Dogtown wearing a hand-crocheted Tina Turner-style minidress, Calvin Klein underpants and fishnet stockings?
a) St. Louis Police Chief Joe Mokwa.

b) St. Louis County Councilman Charles Dooley.

c) Baton twirler/Ambassador of Mirth Bob Jamerson.

d) Missouri Governor Bob Holden.

80. When the St. Louis Board of Elections declared that it needed $600,000 to buy laptop computers for all 353 voting precincts to comply with a justice department settlement, 13th Ward Alderman Fred Wessels responded:
a) "That sounds good. Do they need any cell phones?"

b) "Given our $54 million shortfall, what's $600,000?"

c) "This is one of the nuttiest ideas I've seen. This is a complete waste of money."

d) "We need some reliable method of tracking how often dead people are voting; plus, free solitaire."

Match the quotes from recorded jailhouse conversations between incarcerated basketball star Ricky Clemons and wives of Mizzou top brass:
81. "Whew! Shoot, taking 'em down, you are. You're gonna take 'em down, you know that, right? You know that? And I am having great pleasure."

82. "They don't want me to tell, so they're trying to get me out of town."

83. "You can't date them girls because they will ruin your [rear end] and hang you out to dry when their daddy gets involved."

a) Carmento Floyd, wife of UM system president Elson S. Floyd.

b) Amy Stewart, wife of Ed Stewart, the school's associate director of athletics for administration.

c) Ricky Clemons, incarcerated Mizzou basketball star.

84. What is the Bolozone?
a) Swank new Festus country-and-western bar where transvestite Dieta Pepsi was accosted.

b) Recently unveiled City Museum attraction that insurers won't underwrite.

c) Collective housing project raided by city police during the World Agricultural Forum.

d) Layer of the atmosphere that Washington University researchers suggest is being depleted owing to air pollution.

85. More than 60 folk musicians and ethnic dancers who thought they were performing at a Eurofest 2003 celebration were surprised when they discovered the event actually was:
a) A white-power recruitment rally.

b) An Americans for the French Way of Life assembly.

c) A Slow Food movement Christmas baking party.

d) Auditions for the Sizzling Girls of Slovakia HBO reality show.

86. What did St. Louis Alderman Dan Kirner want to ban in St. Louis?
a) The extensive use of public relations consultants by the mayor's office.

b) The use of smokehouses by immigrants.

c) Amateur boxers who refuse to wear protective cups.

d) Trash cans that double as urinals in city hall.

Racially charged incidents played a part in the firing or resignation of several people this year. Match the name with the incident:
87. St. Louis Drug Court commissioner Jane Geiler.

88. St. Louis District public defender Kent Hall.

89. Radio traffic reporter Joe Sonderman.

a) Fired a month after employer settled racial harassment suit.

b) Resigned after referring to a black prosecutor as "niggardly."

c) Resigned after telling a racist joke over lunch.

90. According to a letter from two union reps to presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, what was an "unconscionable and outrageous act?"
a) Michael Bolton's performance at a Gephardt benefit concert at America's Center.

b) Gephardt's decision to skip the November 4 "Rock the Vote" forum in Boston, sponsored by MTV and CNN.

c) Aide Joyce Aboussie's threat against unions for supporting Howard Dean.

d) Missing 90 percent of his votes on Capitol Hill since announcing his candidacy.

91. How long did it take a St. Louis county jury to acquit Republican congressional challenger Bill Federer of assaulting a Gephardt student intern?
a) 35 minutes.

b) 10 minutes.

c) 2 hours.

d) 6 hours.

92. What did a St. Louis County jury do after it heard the case of Geremie Huff, a woman who blamed her depression on a bad haircut and color from the Elizabeth Arden salon at Saks Fifth Avenue in Plaza Frontenac?
a) They handed down a $25,000 award for the mental and emotional anguish Huff suffered.

b) They laughed Huff out of court and returned a verdict for the hair salon.

c) They awarded Huff $6,000.

d) They called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and pleaded with the show's producers to give Huff a makeover even though it only caters to men.

93. "An inconvenience? No. It's like living in a refugee camp. We're being held hostage. You can't do anything." Of what does St. Louis resident Andrea Dunlop speak?
a) Her new Washington Avenue loft.

b) Her forced relocation to Collinsville, Illinois.

c) Her home in the path of airport expansion.

d) Her recent relocation from San Francisco.

94. What image did the University of Missouri airbrush out of its media guide?
a) Quin Snyder having a rare bad-hair day.

b) Ricky Clemons celebrating during the basketball team's home victory over Colorado.

c) Clemons' former girlfriend, Jessica Bunge, cheering from the stands.

d) Snyder and Clemons skipping through the Columbia mall, arm in arm, celebrating their "awesome scores" at the Dillard's one-day sale.

95. Who uttered the following sentences: "Thank God, whatever happens, I'm still breathing. I didn't get a scratch. I'm OK with that."
a) Taxi driver Mohammed Sheikh, who discovered that he was the unwitting getaway driver during a bank robbery in Town and Country.

b) The girlfriend of Thomas A. McDonough of south St. Louis County, who attacked her with a sword after shooting cocaine.

c) Mayor Francis Slay, after a meeting with school board member Rochell Moore.

d) Ricky Clemons, on his release from jail.

96. In the 1950s, Dick Boushka was a SLU basketball star, and in 1956 he helped the U.S. Olympic team win a gold medal in basketball. Why was he back in the headlines in 2003?
a) He announced that he'd been hired as the agent for basketball wunderkind Sheila Bronson.

b) He announced that he was trying to lure a professional basketball team to St. Louis.

c) He pleaded guilty to defrauding a bank of more than $17 million.

d) His grandson agreed to play basketball for the Billikens.

97. Who or what is the Ozark Hellbender?
a) A salamander that just made the Missouri Department of Conservation's list of endangered species.

b) Our area's contribution to the great sport of professional wrestling.

c) A potent new brand of crystal meth.

d) Janet Ashcroft's nickname for her husband John.

98. What job description did Ballwin resident Brian D. Westby give to the police during an interview?
a) Self-employed porn Web master.

b) Drug czar of West County.

c) King of carpet.

d) Pimp.

99. The St. Louis Airport Authority, the governing body for Lambert Field, on June 12 approved spending nearly $1.2 million over the next three years on:
a) Wining and dining Southwest Airlines executives, the airport's last best hope.

b) Carpet cleaning.

c) Hiring a detective agency in hopes of discrediting the board of directors of American Airlines.

d) Hiring a public relations company to justify the continued need for airport expansion.

100. What happened when Amelia Hernandez slipped some rum onto her flight from New York to Dallas to "calm her nerves?"
a) She started singing and swearing at passengers and the crew.

b) The plane made an unscheduled landing in St. Louis to boot her off.

c) She thumped a Lambert cop in the head and kicked out the window of his squad car.

d) All of the above.

101. A Wood River man was accused of driving home drunk and pleaded guilty to reckless conduct. What was he driving at the time of the incident?
a) An army tank.

b) A lawnmower.

c) A motorized shopping cart.

d) An electric wheelchair.

102. What is Easy Returns, Inc.?
a) A Clayton-based brokerage highlighted in Fortune magazine as one of the firms to watch in 2004; its major investor is Charter Communications CEO Paul Allen.

b) A St. Charles drug-distribution company under criminal investigation for its "lax procedures" for handling controlled substances, after one employee died of an apparent drug overdose and another was convicted of dealing drugs.

c) A Web-based tax return start-up that was convicted of offering to print fraudulent expense receipts on demand and guaranteed a $1,000 tax-return check.

d) The shell company for a south county prostitution ring that offered as one of its services a Joyce Aboussie-impersonating dominatrix.

103. At a press conference in May, St. Louis Police Chief Joe Mokwa displayed items seized from a local activist group that was organizing to protest the World Agricultural Forum. "We are very concerned," the chief said. What was on display?
a) Uzis, grenade launchers and a copy of the Koran.

b) A Pyro Products, Inc. brochure.

c) Whips, nails, a bag of rocks.

d) The minutes of the July 15 school board meeting.

104. Why did 750 doctors gather in the state capitol rotunda for "White Coat Day" in January?
a) It was Take Your Doctor to Work day.

b) They were preparing to pose nude for a Spencer Tunick photo project.

c) They were lobbying for tort-reform legislation.

d) They were protesting proposed budget cuts in a Medicare program for kids.

Match the animal with the achievement:
105. Quintin.

106. Joanna.

107. Mongo.

108. Koko.

a) The St. Louis Zoo's late, lamented Komodo dragon, who passed away this year at the age of ten.

b) The miracle dog that survived the Humane Society's gas chamber.

c) The steer that was disqualified at the Illinois State Fair after a test revealed the presence of a banned substance.

d) The fugitive Asian water monitor recently on the loose in Benton, Illinois.

109. A local stable faced a discrimination complaint after its owner turned down two would-be trail riders because they were:
a) Teenagers.

b) Not wearing appropriate western attire.

c) Drunk.

d) Legally blind.

e) All of the above.

110. Which school board fired teacher Jendra Loeffelman after she condemned interracial marriage?
a) City of St. Louis.

b) Clayton.

c) New City School.

d) Crystal City.

111. What happened after Rep. Dick Gephardt blasted South Carolina's decision to continue flying the Confederate flag?
a) The ACLU defended the state's right to fly the flag.

b) Students at Bob Jones University ransacked the Gephardt for President office in Greenville.

c) The state of Missouri removed its Confederate flags from two of its Civil War sites.

d) Attorney General John Ashcroft denounced Gephardt's statements as an attack on the civil rights of Southerners.

112. Gossip gadfly Jerry Berger and his column in the Post-Dispatch had their ups and downs this year. Which item listed below didn't happen?
a) The column was moved from A2 to the second page of the Metro section.

b) Public relations svengali Richard Callow's name appeared as the column's co-author.

c) Post-Dispatch writer Deb Peterson debuted as Berger's sidekick, "The Diva of Dish."

d) A correction ran after the columnist wrote that four dead people attended a reception for Great Britain's Prince Andrew.

113. "Before, I felt the responsibility lay solely on one person. Now I'm beginning to think that the organization bears some responsibility." Who said this, and about whom was it said?
a) Tony La Russa, about now-Atlanta Braves outfielder J.D. Drew, after Drew failed to live up to his potential this season.

b) William Roberti, after taking the reins as the interim superintendent of St. Louis schools, about school board member Vince Schoemehl.

c) Richard Gephardt, attempting to defend campaign adviser Joyce Aboussie after her threats of retaliation against unions backing rival Howard Dean.

d) Madison County Sheriff Robert Hertz, after two prisoners in two weeks were unintentionally released.

114. "Charging $1,000 for a casket -- talk about taking advantage of the grieving," said owner Paul Kinsella. What is his company?
a), a service that directs a client's message to a loved one to a terminally ill volunteer "messenger" who memorizes it and promises to attempt to deliver it in the afterlife.

b) The Crematorium Emporium, which offers creative disposal of loved ones, including feeding remains to Mississippi catfish.

c) The nonprofit Missouri Association for the Grieving, a newly created watchdog group to oversee the funeral industry.

d) The Casket Basket, a new cut-rate coffin company that celebrated the opening of its headquarters in the downtown St. Louis loft district with a ribbon cutting by Mayor Francis Slay.

115. Emanuel Fleming of Cahokia, Illinois, got an appendage stuck in the coin return of a pay phone. Paramedics had to cut the phone from its moorings and take it, with Fleming attached, to the hospital, where doctors were able to disengage his:
a) Tongue.

b) Thumb.

c) Right middle finger.

d) Penis.

1. c. 2. d. 3. e. 4. c. 5. c. 6. a. 7. a. 8. b. 9. b. 10. b. 11. d. 12. a. 13. c. 14. d. 15. c. 16. a. 17. b. 18. a. 19. c. 20. b. 21. b. 22. a. 23. d. 24. c. 25. a. 26. b. 27. d. 28. c. 29. c. 30. c. 31. d. 32. c. 33. b. 34. d. 35. a. 36. c. 37. b. 38. e. 39. b. 40. e. 41. c. 42. d. 43. b. 44. b. 45. d. 46. c. 47. d. 48. c. 49. a. 50. c. 51. d. 52. c. 53. d. 54. b. 55. a. 56. e. 57. c. 58. d. 59. c. 60. d. 61. c. 62. b. 63. a. 64. d. 65. a. 66. c. 67. c. 68. a. 69. c. 70. d. 71. a. 72. b. 73. b. 74. a. 75. b. 76. b. 77. a. 78. a. 79. c. 80. c. 81. b. 82. c. 83. a. 84. c. 85. a. 86. b. 87. b. 88. c. 89. a. 90. c. 91. a. 92. c. 93. c. 94. b. 95. a. 96. c. 97. a. 98. a. 99. b. 100. d. 101. c. 102. b. 103. c. 104. c. 105. b. 106. d. 107. c. 108. a. 109. d. 110. d. 111. c. 112. b. 113. d. 114. a. 115. c.

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