Last Night: Burlesque Masque at Dante's

Jul 1, 2008 at 9:25 am

Last Night: The Burlesque Masque

Where: Dante's at 3221 Olive Boulevard

Better than: Playing Vampire: the Masquerade with your cat, Dark Lordington.

“Out, out damned tan!” cried Lady Mac ClubHopper. She was powdering herself into a corpse-like pallor, in preparation for Monday night's Burlesque Masque at Dante's.

Guests were directed to attend masked, costumed and primed to enjoy a concert by The Awakening and a burlesque show by the Alley Cat Revue. Intrigued, but decidedly nervous, Lady Mac ClubHopper hoped with all of her grey little heart that this masque would be more like the one in Labyrinth and nothing at all like the one in Eyes Wide Shut. It was a little early in the week for those types of shenanigans, after all. Alas, the Lady had nothing to fear; the ball was as harmless as Robert Smith without his Aqua Net. Here is a tidy recap for you:

The Masked Marauders: To hostess Rose Mortem's apparent dismay, 99 percent of the guests at this event didn't understand the concept of a ''masque.'' Not only did most of them not wear a mask, the majority of them looked like they just rolled out of bed. The event, originally scheduled at 9 p.m., started late, giving these ne'er-do-wells plenty of time to head over to Value Village and scrounge up an appropriate costume. Some of the darlings that did make the effort to dress appropriately included a mime (entertaining, but obnoxious) and a very busty Marie Antoinette. Some of you may be wondering why you should go clubbing with a bunch of Dungeons and Dragons dorks, but, we must say, some of those D&D kids grew up to be quite fetching. Even if you didn't find any of them attractive at first, the $2 vodka and cranberries helped change your mind as the night progressed.

The Awakening: This band is South Africa's gift to St. Louis. We don't know what we did to deserve such a delightful little goth band, but we're thankful. Ashton Nyte, the lead singer, is a dead ringer for Peter Murphy, from the quintessential goth band, Bauhaus. The lead singer Ashton's shock of white hair, cheekbones that could cut glass and deep vocal stylings caused waves of swooning adoration as the band took to the stage. The music was a heady mix of electro, dark wave and new romantic; perfect for the nocturnal revelry. When Ashton sang the line, ''even fallen angels cry,'' we wanted to rush up and hand him a tissue, poor thing. An interesting tidbit to note for all you squares that think goths are a bunch of devil worshipers: The Awakening will be playing the Cornerstone Festival soon, a Christian music fest in Bushnell, Illinois. So what does the goth aesthetic and Christianity have in common? Well, both rely pretty heavily on the rising of the dead, both wear crucifixes and both appreciate a fine red wine.

The Alley Cat Revue: What's a Burlesque Masque without the burlesque show? Luckily, the ladies from the Alley Cat Revue were on hand to get the crowd going. Not your typical, orange-and-blonde dancers, these chicks have perfected the art of the tease by using metal, goth and electronica as soundtracks while they drop it like it's hot. It seemed, that for some of the guests, this was their first time seeing a lady with her ankles exposed. Scandal! If you slept through x, you can catch more of the ladies from the Alley Cat Revue on Saturdays at Rue 13.

The Verdict: What? It's Tuesday, now? Oh, well, I guess I'll have to go back into my cave and finish that chocolate cake with Dark Lordington, until the next shindig. Good times.

- Lyndsay Johnson