SCREENGRAB VIA KANSASCITYSTAR.COM
The 74-year-old dairy farmer from Fair Grove had apparently been hand-chosen to shake hands with the president during his Springfield junket yesterday. Which kind of makes us wonder about the screening system: The old duffer told reporters with the Kansas City Star that he'd accessorized just for the occasion by writing "TRUMP" on his glass eye.
Apparently he has three of these glass eyes. And this one got the special orange ink treatment.
"I got two or three eyeballs," he told the reporters. "I just change them."
If you ever needed proof that there are two Americas, the Star's interview proves it. In one America, coastal elites cheered as Hillary hoped to shatter the glass ceiling. In the other, crusty septuagenarians use glass to fill their eye sockets. In one America, Ivy League-educated pundits tap out political messaging in 140 characters or less on their smartphones. In the other, working men and women etch out a much simpler vision for America right on their fake eyeballs. We're a divided people. Can the gulf ever be breached? Can the center possibly hold?
Of the beleaguered commander in chief, Buckner had this to say:
"I think he’s representing the things I feel. I think he’s bringing it back to what the country ought to be. It got too far to the left. Way too far to the left. We got to get back to ... nature, you might say. ... I believe it's time to come back to a Christian nation."
That's Donald Trump alright. Returning America to a state of nature, one glass eye at a time.
See the Star's interview with Bruckner below.
We welcome tips and feedback. Email the author at [email protected]
