Missouri Police Offer to Weigh Your Drugs For You to Ensure You Aren't Ripped Off

click to enlarge We don't even gotta type a caption;  you already know. - SCREENSHOT FROM THIS VIDEO
We don't even gotta type a caption; you already know.

A Missouri police department is offering to weigh the drugs belonging to anyone who feels they have been ripped off by their dealer in what is assuredly not a trap or anything like that, no way, no chance.

The police department in Winfield, Missouri, about an hour northwest of St. Louis, posted a "scam alert" to its Facebook page on Thursday, warning drug enthusiasts about an alleged scheme in which unscrupulous dealers supposedly use their cellphone's calculator app in lieu of an actual scale.

"Some untrustworthy drug dealers are using their cell phone, instead of a certified scale to display the weight of the merchandise that they are selling," reads the post. "By placing the drugs on their cell phone, they can type in whatever weight they want, claiming it was the weight agreed upon during your transaction."

The department then helpfully offers to weigh those drugs out themselves, thereby ensuring that you get what you paid for. If you can't meet with an officer, they suggest you just call 'em up and give them the name of your dealer.

"Contact the Winfield Police Department and schedule to meet with one of our officers," the post continues. "We can assist you by weighing your purchase to ensure that you didn’t get cheated out of what you paid for. If you cannot meet with one of our officers please call our office. We would be happy to contact your drug dealer to talk to him."

It's awfully helpful of the police, and assuredly won't end in charges and a night in the pokey, no sir.

All kidding aside, don't contact the police when you are ripped off on your drugs. It seems crazy that we'd have to say that, but people do it all the fucking time. It's almost as if people who are high don't always make the wisest decisions.

Anyway, there's only one scam going on here, and it ain't your dealer that is the perpetrator. It'd be wise to listen to veteran commander Admiral Ackbar on this one.

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About The Author

Daniel Hill

Daniel Hill is editor at large for the Riverfront Times and he demands to be taken seriously, despite all evidence to the contrary. Follow him on Twitter at @rftmusic.
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