Missouri's D.C. Representatives Fight for Corporate Right to Put God in Your Uterus

Sen. Roy Blunt is leading the way to put God in your uterus.
Sen. Roy Blunt is leading the way to put God in your uterus.

The Supreme Court heard oral arguments yesterday in the Hobby Lobby case that seeks to answer the question of whether a corporation can restrict a woman's access to health care on religious grounds -- and not a single Missouri representative in Washington has spoken out against it.

Hobby Lobby, a retail chain owned by an upstanding Christian family that sells cheap arts and crafts products made by the hands of sweatshop-bound Chinese laborers who are sometimes forced to have abortions due to their communist country's one-child policy, doesn't want its female employees to have affordable access to emergency contraception, such as Plan B and IUDs, which are known to be amazingly effective and safe birth control devices. Unfortunately, the religious knickknack giant believes these medications and devices induce abortions. They don't.

And in what was a reflection of most of Missouri's representatives, Senator Roy Blunt and his mountainous eyebrows took the Senate floor in Washington, D.C., Tuesday to stand up for the right of American corporations to prevent women from having health-insurance plans that would allow them to put a piece of copper in their uterus.

See also: BREAKING: Birth Control Leads to Fewer Abortions. Also, Sky is Blue

In a twelve-minute speech, Blunt mainly railed against Obamacare, which he is used to doing (his Twitter account is mostly rants against Obamacare or photos of him displaying his intimidatingly giant eyebrows). Afterward, the senator defended Hobby Lobby's religious right to believe in things that aren't true and force those beliefs on women getting paid $9 an hour.

"The law forces businesses like Hobby Lobby to cover health care services that violate their religious beliefs," Blunt said.

But Blunt isn't the only Missouri representative in D.C. trying to take women back to the stoning age. Click on the next page to see how horrible Missouri's politicians are...

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