O'Malley's Irish Pub Is Looking For a Dwarf Doorman and Unreal is Here to Help

Unreal has not been immune to the recession. Sure, we still contribute a column every now and again, but times is tough and we're in the market for a second job to keep food on the table and booze in the belly.

Last week one Craigslist post in particular struck our fancy:

"Omalleys Irish Pub is looking for a little person/dwarf to work part time as a door person. Must like the bar atmosphere, have a good sense of humor and show up on time.... [N]o experience needed."

Unreal: Why a little person/dwarf for the doorman?

Tommy Gates: I think it'd be funny. A little guy, an Irish pub -- it's good humor.

Is it the combination of the dwarf and the Irish pub that makes it funny, or are little people on their own inherently funny?

No, no, just the Irish pub. Wee people and the Irish pub. You know, that's what I find funny.

Can Munchkins, midgets and Oompa-Loompas apply?

Stop by and we'll see what we think. We need a doorman from ten till one on Fridays and Saturdays. It pays 30 bucks a night.

Are drinks included?

Oh, absolutely.

Have you considered hiring a giant and a midget? That way you could get security and humor at the same time.

Well, I'm only five-ten, but I was ranked 19th in the world in the '86 Goodwill Games in boxing, so there's never no trouble here.