Pirates Killed by Manatees: Film at Eleven!

Apr 3, 2009 at 5:20 pm
You know how every year, just as the baseball season is about to start, you begin sort of making up your predictions, getting them all straight in your head? No need to lie and say you don't do it; we all do. Some of us write them down, some of us discuss them incessantly with our friends (or, if we happen to have one, a captive Internet audience), and some of us just keep them to ourselves. But we all do it. 

Well, in the interest of helping you out with your preseason predictions, I would like to bring a little something to your attention. It seems like just about every year, we hear that this is the year the Pittsburgh Pirates finally really start to turn their fortunes around and become respectable again. 

Well, I'm here to tell you that turnaround may be a bit further off than that. 

See, the Pittsburgh Pirates sent out a collection of their top minor league prospects to play Manatee Community College yesterday in an exhibition game. 

And guess what? Manatee won

There's something you don't hear every day, huh? 

click to enlarge Jesus Christ! Look out Pittsburgh, they've got a taste for blood now! 
Jesus Christ! Look out Pittsburgh, they've got a taste for blood now! 
Now, I'm not entirely sure on this one; Manatee Community College could be an absolute hotbed of major league talent and I just don't realize it. However, until I see Manatee taking on Oregon State or UNC in the College World Series, I'm going to assume it probably isn't. 

Seriously, how great is this? When your franchise is such a mess that a team of your best prospects, or even just your prospects, all of whom are real live professional baseball players, loses to Manatee Community College

So as for that great Pirate turnaround that gets predicted every year, until the youngsters the Pirates are bringing up can start beating the local JuCo kids, I'll just assume it isn't going to happen. 

The best quote of all came from Manatee coach Tim Hill. 

"Not to take anything away from their guys, but they do that for a living... and we're not used to seeing the type of pitchers we saw, and this was the first time our guys used wooden bats." (Emphasis mine) 

Now that's just awesome.