RFT Reviews the Week April 17 to April 23

MONDAY, APRIL 17. The Missouri House passes a new concealed carry law that cracks down on kids with guns. Just kidding! The bill they actually passed today, HB 282, makes it easier to carry guns on buses and in churches. Oh, and it would lower the age of concealed-carry eligibility from 19 to 18 — because what we need in this state is more teens packing heat. Unbelievably, the bill passes 102 to 45. Now we’ll see if the Senate is on board for this nonsense. Meanwhile, in St. Louis, the Circuit Attorney’s Office no-shows a murder trial, and Judge Scott Millikan wants to know why Kim Gardner isn’t in contempt of court. He’d best get in line.
TUESDAY, APRIL 18. Dashing the hopes of good liberals across the country, Dominion Voting Systems decides to cash in for its private equity stakeholders instead of drilling down further on Fox News for the sake of democracy — forging a $787 million settlement with Rupert Murdoch & Co. Anyone who’s shocked by that decision was probably also convinced Robert Mueller and the FBI would save the nation from Donald Trump. LOL. Meanwhile, Kim Gardner is in court for the state AG’s quo warranto case seeking to remove her from office. For all the back-and-forth, the most memorable moment came from a lawyer representing a group that’s not actually party to the case: soft-spoken former appeals court justice Booker Shaw, who was hired to speak for the judges in the St. Louis circuit. “The practical effects and uncertainty of the situation we’re in now have placed the judges in an untenable and unsustainable position,” Shaw told Appellate Judge John Torbitzky. “Whatever the cause of it, the Circuit Attorney’s Office is now in a state of near-total collapse.” Anyone else just brace for pure chaos?
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. Nearly one week after a Kansas City homeowner shot 16-year-old Ralph Yarl for the apparent crime of ringing his doorbell while Black, Missouri Governor Mike Parson finally weighs in — and naturally he blames Joe Biden. "When the president of the United States is trying to make a political statement over a very serious tragedy, it is very unfortunate,” he told the Kansas City Star, “and I don't agree with trying to make political points out of terrible — I've never done that since I've been governor." Ah yes, a thought many a Missourian holds deep in his breast: If only President Biden could be more like Governor Parson!
THURSDAY, APRIL 20. It’s 4/20 and Afroman is in court — how fitting is that? The “Because I Got High” rapper is being sued by Ohio deputies who raided his home and then got mad when he used the footage of their bumbling raid in music videos and in merch. Did we mention they were in his home at the time? Also, BuzzFeed News is shutting down, which is a bad buzz indeed.

FRIDAY, APRIL 21. The U.S. Supreme Court says you can keep your abortion pills! Apparently letting a Texas judge instantly overturn seven years of FDA procedures was a bridge too far for everyone but Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas. Instead, we’ll get at least a year of legal wrangling and potentially the same result. Lovely.

SATURDAY, APRIL 22. Everyone’s celebrating Earth Day, but in St. Louis, we’ve given up. If we can’t recycle without having to haul our crap off to a drop-off recycling center, we’re out. (We still get to party on Mother Earth’s behalf in Forest Park, right?) Meanwhile, CITY SC tied the Colorado Rapids 1-1, thereby suggesting your hoosier uncle may have been right when he drunkenly slurred that soccer isn’t a real sport. What kind of sport allows games to end with ties?
SUNDAY, APRIL 23. The Battlehawks are eliminated from the XFL postseason due to complicated rules involving ranking and points scored and frankly it’s too much to follow. Gotta keep this sportsball stuff simple. Also, RIP Tom Hall. Friends confirmed he died in a fire in Soulard Saturday night. Hall was a regular at Hammerstone’s and, per the St. Louis Blues Society, “one of the best acoustic Blues guitarists that St. Louis had to offer.” Heartbreaking.


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