MONDAY, JANUARY 9
A shooting at the Cracker Barrel in St. Charles kicked off the week.
Three teens were arrested after a shooting at a St. Charles Cracker Barrel
— which we hope shuts up all the Post-Dispatch commenters
who are convinced crime only happens east of Forest Park. A 52-year-old man was warming his truck when he spotted a trio of teens trying to steal it. He yelled at them; they opened fire. A manhunt ensued that shut down local schools. Surely we can all agree this is Kim Gardner’s fault
TUESDAY, JANUARY 10
A St. Louis-born congressman is now chair of the Ways & Means committee
, which oversees everything from Social Security to the tax code. U.S. Representative Jason Smith
(R-Salem) follows such luminaries as Dan Rostenkowski
, Charles Rangel
and Paul Ryan
. What does this mean for Missouri
? Probably nothing; right now Congress can’t manage to do shit. But it sure looks good on a resume.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 11
The FAA’s incompetence
grounds flights across the U.S. How nice to be reminded that the private sector doesn’t have a monopoly on stranding travelers. Also: A 63-year-old Maryland Heights confesses to killing and decapitating an Alton woman in 2004. Her corpse was later discovered at a rest stop. Police say Mike Clardy
had no criminal record — which might be the scariest thing of all.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 12 Lisa Marie Presley
has died, and with her, our last chance to find out what really went on in Michael Jackson’s marital bed
. (Like you never wondered.)
FRIDAY, JANUARY 13
It’s a high of 31 after more than a week of unseasonably warm weather — and wow, what a reminder that winter sucks
. Why would anyone choose to live in this frigid hellhole? Also, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker
signs into law a bill that protects people seeking abortion from across state lines, as well as abortion providers with multi-state licenses. It raises a big question: What does Bret Kavanaugh
think? Everyone knows it’s unelected lawyers in D.C.
who control this stuff.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 14
Nearly all of California
is on flood watch as precipitation pours down; Los Angeles
is in a state of emergency. And with that, we’re back to being relieved to live in St. Louis: No threat of dying in a massive mudslide
SUNDAY, JANUARY 15
Balmy days are here again! We can’t believe we survived the long, long winter. Also, I-55 becomes chaos in Carondelet after police chase a suspected killer from Franklin County. Timothy Kalter
crashed into an exit sign and two fences before his vehicle caught fire and he took off on foot. Police eventually got their guy, who had been on the lam for two weeks after a double homicide in Pacific. Thanks, Kim Gardner
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