MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13. Clayton sees its first murder since 2006, and you would think Christ himself had returned after a 2,000-year absence — the breathless media coverage suggests a life in Clayton really is worth more than one in north city. Meanwhile, the Post-Dispatch reports that the Hoffmann Family of Companies is selling off more acquisitions in Hermann. You mean to tell us St. Louis-adjacent wine country serving varietals no decent person would drink is not destined to be the next Napa after all? We’re shocked, just shocked.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14. A man is shot in the head outside Enterprise Center, and what choice do Blues fans have but to file on in for the evening game? This isn’t Clayton, where people care about murders. A few blocks away at City Hall, Aldermanic President Megan Green and Alderman Shane Cohn both say they have COVID-19.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15. The Guardian has to remove Osama Bin Laden’s “Letter to America” from its website because young people on TikTok are reading it approvingly now that they too hate Israel. Just wait til they learn about that vegetarian artist Hitler and Mein Kampf!
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16. Dissident members file a lawsuit aimed at forcing KDHX to seat their picks on the board of directors. Naturally, Board President Gary Pierson responds by attacking the former board member serving as the dissidents’ lawyer, which seems remarkably on-brand. Over in University City, some sadist tries to steal the very expensive air fresheners now working feverishly to purify the air inside Seafood City, the blighted local grocery that left tons of seafood to rot for months before sticking U City taxpayers with the bill. Police collar the thief while he’s putting $1,200 of air fresheners in a shopping cart and refuse to believe his protestations that he was merely sleeping in the abandoned building — because who would sleep in a building reeking of rotting fish? And, finally, it turns out the man being charged with that Clayton murder, Trenell Johnson, is an alleged car thief who’d been recently sprung from jail by the Bail Project, which will surely not endear the nonprofit to nervous Clayton residents. Prosecuting Attorney Wesley Bell is very quick to point out that he opposed Johnson’s release.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17. St. Louis native Sam Altman gets pushed out as CEO of OpenAI, big news for everyone seeking to make money off the AI coming for our jobs. As for Altman, if he can find a way to battle back, he may well be the second coming of Jack Dorsey.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 18. Post-Dispatch Political Columnist Joe Holleman continues to land the big scoops that get at the heart of life in St. Louis: Two Missouri lawmakers haven’t paid their sewer bills and owe MSD $968. Stop the presses!
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 19. Rosalynn Carter dies at age 96. Poor Jimmy! Also, a Belleville, Illinois, man is gunned down while driving on the Stan Musial Bridge just before 11 p.m. Police aren’t yet saying if the shooting was random.
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