Gentle Readers:
We must make a confession: It's not easy being Unreal. Yes, it seems like all we do is prank-call people and test weird products and go out drinking with cougars and it's all fun and games, but honestly? Well, you just try it sometime.
Ever since we became a member of Mensa, the society of really smart people, the burdens have only intensified. Our editor regularly calls us "Mensa" and asks us to explain advanced concepts of physics in front of the entire staff. Hello? The Mensa test doesn't cover physics. Would it kill him to remember that so we don't look like a complete idiot?
Sigh. But if you really, really want to be a genius like Unreal, head on out to the Crowne Plaza Hotel - St. Louis Airport (11228 Lone Eagle Drive, Bridgeton) at 7 p.m. tonight where the Mensans will be scouting for fresh blood. It'll cost you $40, payable by cash or check, and you'll be out by 9.
The
Mensans, by the way, claim they did not schedule the test on the Friday
night before Valentine's Day as a commentary on the social lives of
potential members. Whatever, we say. Unreal's Friday night will be way
more exciting. Someone just left a hot new gay historical romance on
our chair. Reading it will be a serious challenge, but that is one of
the heavy burdens of being Unreal.
© 2023 Riverfront Times
