Someone Please Explain This Press Release To Me

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I received the following missive yesterday from Ronnie Capps of Tiptonville, Tennessee.

Can anyone tell me what the hell he is talking about? Why are these tournaments he enters so crappie [sic]? And how come he's catching crap for winning $1.4 million? Doesn't everyone get crappy when a cold front hits? (I know I do!) And what are crappy myths? Are they like urban legends or wives' tales?

So, so confused. 

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