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Ten Christmas Gifts That Will Ensure a Man is Single by New Year's Eve

By Riverfront Times Staff on Fri, Dec 21, 2012 at 8:00 am

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Don't box yourself in with a bad gift idea.

Any of you fellas frantically trying to decide what to give your boo for Christmas?

Let Daily RFT narrow your options with a list of gift ideas you should definitely avoid this Yuletide season.

(Unless, of course, you wish to be single by the new year.)

10) Gonorrhea St. Louisans bestow this present upon one another more often, per capita, than any other county and independent city in the entire nation (with the exception of Orleans County, Louisana). Don't follow the crowd. There are better, um, stocking stuffers.
9) A terminally ill dog You're right, they do cost less. But your thrift won't necessarily be appreciated.

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Won't put you on her A-list.

8) Celebrity sex tape starring you and a celebrity (celebrity is Steve Buscemi) Might leave her feeling "out of her element."

7) All-inclusive vacation to Thailand for one, (i.e., you) She always complains there's never enough time to clean; this way, you won't be a distraction! Ever again.

6) Saw I - V Box Set There's not really anything funny about this. So if you insist on giving it to her, maybe stop weirdly giggling for a few minutes.