The Jeff Weaver Wire Watch: Dream Weaver

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Two weeks ago Jeff Weaver was statistically the worst pitcher in baseball. The Seattle Mariners had placed him on the fifteen-day disabled list with tendinitis in his shoulder (read: suckicitis), and Seattleites were one more three-inning/eight-run start away from hanging him by his mullet from the Space Needle.

But night before last Weaver threw a complete game, four-hit shutout.

You read that correctly: Jeff Weaver. Complete game. Shutout. He also struck out five and lowered his season ERA by nearly three points, from a humiliating 10.97 to a merely laughable 8.56.

The frightening part is that Weaver has been borderline consistent since his stint on the DL, posting 1.89 ERA with hitters batting just .225 off him in June. Seattle fans remain cautiously optimistic.

The prognosis? Weaver’s grandmother could throw left-handed and be decent against the Cubs, Padres and Pirates. Let’s see how he fares next week against the Red Sox.

-Unreal