Top Five Pieces of Furniture Barack Obama May Address on Thursday Night

2. Gun Safe
Charlton Heston is dead, and he'll remain that way until the great ape takeover of 2056. But Obama addressing a gun safe would be a masterstroke from a PR standpoint. True-blue Democrats will see it as a not-so-sly dig at the NRA and the hot-button issue of gun legislation -- they're simple like that. Ring a bell, they drool, to paraphrase Pavlov.

But the NRA (which actually recommends gunowners practice responsible ownership), and its supporters, will be shaken. "Do we have something in common with this guy?" they'll ask. That will be a terrifying moment of self-reflection. If Obama can establish even the briefest moment of rapport with the opposition, it will be a victory for him. It may even mark the first time anyone on the other side of the political divide has agreed with anything he's said, even if it only occurs in the privacy of their own mind.

And once he's in your head, he's won. The speech is coming from inside the house. Get out! Get out now!