Unreal News Challenge 2007

Week of December 27, 2007

Jan 9, 2008 at 4:00 am

Can you believe it? We're about to give the heave-ho to 2007, a year St. Louis marked with child abductions, soaring venereal-disease rates and several scandals involving local officials.

In other words: business as usual.

But before we bid adieu to the year that was, it's time once again for the Unreal News Challenge!

That's right. We dug up thousands of local stories from 2007, shoveled 'em into the ol' brainpan, shook 'em up and heaved 'em out in our (if you'll permit us a hyperbolic moment) inimitable fashion. Now it's up to you to distinguish the truth from the merely truthy, the fact from the fiction and, more to the point, the real from the Unreal.

What about the frickin' prizes, you ask?

The Great XXXmas Giveaway a few weeks back thinned our supply some, so this time around we're going with only one prize. But it's a craptastic one!

Yes, folks, the winner of this year's Unreal News Challenge gets to take home the brand-spanking-new toilet the editorial department purchased to adorn the paper's November 15 cover. You read right: This year's high scorer gets a genuine unused porcelain potty, suitable for residential installation or any other mode of display you might dream up. Said toilet will be (tastefully and discreetly) signed by RFT staff photographer Jennifer Silverberg, art director Tom Carlson and by Unreal ourself.

OFFICIAL RULES: There are no rules. Except one: If you win, you'll have to arrange to come to the RFT offices in person to claim your prize.

Make that two rules: Only one entry per household.

Oh, and you have to supply a real name and phone number where we can reach you in the unlikely event you win. In the event of a tie or ties, we'll come up with something. And, you know, void where prohibited and all that.
So answer the following questions to the best of your ability and, if you wish, submit the results by mail to:

Riverfront Times
6358 Delmar Boulevard, Ste. 200
St. Louis, MO 63130

Better yet, save yourself a stamp and visit www.riverfronttimes.com to take the quiz online.

We'll publish an answer key in a week or so. And now, without further ado, let the quiz-takin' commence!

Answers are in blue.

1) A European Union court found in favor of Anheuser-Busch earlier this year, enabling the St. Louis brewery to do what?
A) Market its delicious full-bodied malt liquor, King Cobra, in the Netherlands.
B) Place the names "Bud" and "Budweiser" on promotional items such as beer steins, bar coasters and women's swimsuits.
C) Erect billboards containing anti-Heineken advertisements.
D) Introduce the European people to our "Ambassador of Fun," Spuds MacKenzie.

2) Who is Jason Harris and what lawsuit did he file in 2007?
A) He's a City of St. Louis animal-control worker who is suing a real estate agent whose runaway Yorkshire terrier allegedly defecated while he was pursuing the animal, causing him to slip and break his coccyx.
B) He's a Cardinals fan who is suing the House of Ink for inserting two typos in a tattoo that was meant to commemorate the team's 2006 World Series victory.
C) He is the state representative who loaned State Senator Jeff Smith his casino ID.
D) He's the lead plaintiff in a class-action suit against the City of St. Louis that claims the city was negligent in repairing potholes.

3) St. George Mayor Harold Goodman made headlines in 2007. Why?
A) He was busted twice in a single week — once for possession of marijuana and subsequently for possession of child pornography.
B) He ate 56 White Castle burgers in ten minutes.
C) He was caught on video harassing a motorist.
D) His slogan, "St. George is for Lovers," was withdrawn after Virginia sued for trademark infringement — but not before the city council ordered 5,000 T-shirts and 2,000 coffee mugs adorned with the catchphrase.

Match the disgraced charity leader with the alleged offense:
4) Michael Katz, the Judy Ride Foundation. C
5) Sandra Batte, Susan G. Komen for the Cure. B
6) Carl Sengheiser, Gateway to a Cure. A
A) Holding fraudulent raffles.
B) Possession of child pornography.
C) Enriching himself through the sale of bracelets.

7) What is St. Louis' new slogan?
A) St. Louis: All Within Reach.
B) St. Louis: Perfectly Centered. Remarkably Connected.
C) St. Louis: The Other West Coast.
D) St. Louis: Big Butt Country.

8) Once again in 2007, St. Louis scored high among U.S. cities when it came to the infection rate for sexually transmitted diseases. Our fair city topped the charts in:
A) Syphilis.
B) Gonorrhea.
C) Chlamydia and gonorrhea.
D) Gonorrhea and syphilis.

9) Which of the following findings did Washington University researchers announce in 2007?
A) Wearing tight socks may lead to temporary red marks on infants' legs.
B) There is a link between heavy drinking and sexual promiscuity.
C) Many overweight children need help to lose weight and keep it off.
D) All of the above.

Match the public figure with the quote:
10) Larry Salci, ex-president and CEO of Metro. B
11) Michael Devlin, ex-pizzeria manager and convicted pervert. C
12) Jeffery Whitteaker, truck driver and mayor of Valley Park. A
A) "You got one guy and his wife that settle down here, have a couple kids, and before long you have Cousin Puerto Rico and Taco Whoever moving in."
B) "[KTVI-TV (Channel 2) reporter Elliott Davis] fits right into St. Louis. He's a fucking clown."
C) "I don't know how I'm going to explain myself to my parents."

13) When a Wright City resident placed his Elvis Is Alive museum up for auction on eBay, which of the following items was not included?
A) A life-size casket containing a dead Elvis replica.
B) Results of a DNA test proving that the man buried at Graceland is not Elvis Presley.
C) A polyp from Elvis' liver that supplied the genetic material for the DNA test.
D) An answering-machine recording that purportedly was recorded after the King's (alleged) death.

14) Who did St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke not threaten with excommunication this year?
A) Bernice Krauze.
B) Stan Rozanski.
C) Rose Marie Dunn Hudson and Elsie Hainz McGrath.
D) None of the above.

15) Why did St. Louis cancel Mighty Mud Mania 2007?
A) Because city officials feared a repeat of Mighty Mud Mania 2006, at which hundreds of participants came down with folliculitis, an infection of the hair follicles.
B) Because the city has been named as a defendant in three personal-injury lawsuits stemming from Mighty Mud Mania 2006.
C) Because a drought left the city without enough water to make mud.
D) You try getting those mud and grass stains out of your kid's britches.

16) What item has Cardinals outfielder Chris Duncan not been seen dry-humping on the Riverfront Times blog?
A) A bottle of Block Up! SPF 45 sunscreen.
B) The leg of the Stan Musial statue outside Busch Stadium.
C) Homer Simpson.
D) The Stanley Cup.

17) The United States Department of Agriculture fined the Saint Louis Zoo $7,500 in 2007. Why?
A) The USDA found that the zoo was serving cloned mackerel to its penguin population.
B) The USDA found that the zoo had not properly cared for two of its resident polar bears.
C) The USDA found that the zoo was running a "hyena mill," selling teacup hyenas to several A-list celebrities.
D) The USDA needed money.

18) Why is independent presidential candidate Blake Ashby running for president?
A) "Though I have no foreign-policy experience, I measure my days in spoons of espresso at Meshuggah, so I've pretty much got the Italian and Jewish vote wrapped up."
B) "My real hope is that Kucinich will tap me for veep."
C) "I'm tired of crack-smoking Republicans ruining my great country."
D) All of the above.

19) Earlier this year Laurie Flori and Rosemary Thornton ended a legal feud involving claims of defamation and plagiarism. What was the fight about?
A) The specifics of an easement between their two properties.
B) Which woman had done more research/ about the history of Sears mail-order houses.
C) Which researcher deserved top billing on a co-authored paper titled "Convergence of Multiple Signaling Pathways Is Required to Coordinately Up-regulate mtDNA and Mitochondrial Biogenesis During T Cell Activation."
D) Who coined the term "electric boogaloo."

20) Who is Jasmine Wright, and why was she running topless across the Poplar Street Bridge during the morning rush hour?
A) She's a global-warming activist who was making a public statement about our dependence on fossil fuels.
B) She's an exotic dancer who'd just beaten up a man after they had sex and he'd refused to pay her the agreed-upon amount.
C) She's a runner who took a wrong turn while training for the Spirit of St. Louis Marathon.
D) She's a BASE jumper who lost her shirt (and parachute harness) during an unsuccessful jump from the bridge.

21) What reason did former St. Louis Board of Education president Veronica O'Brien give for her school board's many problems running the district?
A) "They lack the brain capacity to run a school district."
B) "For years the city's school board has served as a platform for megalomaniacal, small-minded politicians to impose their pet causes on the city's poorest students."
C) "You know how St. Louis is highest in gonorrhea? Well, this school board proves we're highest in late-stage syphilis, too."
D) None of the above.

Match the public official with his alleged crime:
22) State Senator Jeff Smith. A
23) State Representative John Bowman. C
24) Former St. Louis public defender Eric Affholter. B
A) Using a fake ID to get into a casino.
B) Conspiracy to commit marriage fraud.
C) A credit-card scheme involving $1.2 million in fraudulent charges and cash advances.

25) The year 2007 brought reports that Anheuser-Busch was expanding its brewery operations. Which site was not mentioned in these accounts?
A) Hyderabad, India.
B) The state of Maharashtra, India.
C) Foshan, China.
D) North St. Louis County, Missouri, USA.

26) A truck filled with what overturned in downtown St. Louis last September?
A) Cattle.
B) Chicken fat.
C) Bud Light.
D) Illegal aliens fleeing Valley Park.

27) What is "noodling"?
A) A dance performed at Grateful Dead concerts, wherein the dancer appears to lack a skeleton.
B) A means of fishing for catfish by hand that was banned in Missouri in 2007.
C) The act of fiddling around on a musical instrument.
D) All of the above.

Match the municipality with its recently enacted law:
28) Pine Lawn. B
29) Valley Park. C
30) Fairview Heights. A
A) No spitting.
B) No sagging.
C) No renting to illegal aliens.

31) Who is this man, and why is his nose all busted up?

A) John Westerhosen, a convicted rustler who was injured in September while trying to steal cattle that had escaped from an overturned truck in downtown St. Louis.
B) Terry McGruder, a member of the Streetfighterz motorcycle gang who crashed his rice burner while doing a wheelie on the Chain of Rocks Bridge.
C) David Gaulden, owner of R-Place Bar & Grill in House Springs, the day after a gang of off-duty Jefferson County deputies allegedly assaulted him in his own bar.
D) Justin Patizius-Leslie, the man who was beaten up by an exotic dancer after refusing to pay her the agreed-upon price for sex.

32) What is the name of the new baby elephant at the Saint Louis Zoo?
A) Suzie.
B) Daddy's Little Fatty.
C) Jade.
D) Clytemnestra.

33) Which new product did Anheuser-Busch not release during this past year?
A) Spykes, a malt beverage that comes in flavors such as Spicy Lime and Hot Melons and is intended as a mixer.
B) Chelada, a can of traditional Budweiser that has been mixed with Clamato, a tomato-and-clam juice.
C) Poundz, a malt liquor that contains 17 percent alcohol and whose can carries the likeness of a pit bull.
D) All of the above.

34) What is the Miss Rockaway Armada?
A) A Ramones tribute band.
B) An ill-fated militia formed in 1932 by Rockaway Village Mayor Seymour Rosenblatt, a secessionist.
C) A raft made of junk and manned by artists that floated the length of the Mississippi River to New Orleans.
D) All of the above.

35) To what was Saint Louis University Provost Joseph Weixlmann referring when he said, "Part of my frustration is that this is an important issue, it's a complicated issue, it's a multidimensional issue, and we're doing the same thing year after year"?
A) The Catholic Church's continued campaign to promote abstinence as the only safe-sex alternative.
B) The university's decision to terminate men's basketball coach Brad Soderberg.
C) His office's decision not to support a student production of The Vagina Monologues.
D) The recently healed divide between the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church over the issue of consubstantiation versus transubstantiation.

36) Why did authorities evacuate the Wright City Post Office in April?
A) A mysterious white substance was discovered in the coin-return slot of the self-service stamp machine. It was subsequently identified as talcum powder.
B) A suspicious-looking package was found to contain the horn of a black rhinoceros, an endangered species. The horn, prized by herbalists for its purported ability to revive comatose patients and cure fevers, was returned to the government of Kenya.
C) Employees heard a mysterious ticking sound coming from a package. The source was later determined to be a Winnie the Pooh telephone.
D) Wright City postmaster James McGurney likes to wear a T-shirt that says "Cranky Old Fart." One morning after a church-sponsored bean supper, he made the figurative literal.

37) To what was Governor Matt Blunt's press secretary, Jessica Robinson, referring to when she said, "It's heartbreaking that what should have been personal and precious are never going to be that way"?
A) Nude photos of herself that appeared on the Internet.
B) News that the family of Jerry Toops, superintendent of Johnson's Shut-Ins State Park, would not be reimbursed for personal items lost when the Taum Sauk Reservoir collapsed.
C) Her Social Security number.
D) News that U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa was demanding that Joyce Meyer Ministries provide the U.S. Senate Committee on Finance with detailed records and personal information.

38) What did Cardinals skipper Tony La Russa say from the back seat of a Florida police cruiser as he was being hauled in for drunk driving?
A) "Do you know who I am?"
B) "Get me So Taguchi."
C) "That's the way it fucking goes, you know?"
D) "One bourbon, one scotch and one beer."

39) Earlier this year the Wall Street Journal reported that St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke's Lindell Boulevard residence is historically significant. How so?
A) It was the setting for the real-life events that inspired William Peter Blatty's best-selling novel The Exorcist.
B) It is the house where, in the early 1900s, Mrs. Julius S. Walsh Jr. hosted the first known "cocktail party."
C) It is the site of Chuck Berry's first paying gig, a bar mitzvah party for which his band, the Sin Seekers, earned $5 apiece.
D) It is the only known example of Tiffany stained-glass windows in St. Louis.

40) Name the St. Louisan who was approached by FOX to host his own late-night talk show.
A) Mop-top about town Beatle Bob.
B) St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke.
C) TV sports announcer Joe Buck.
D) Former mayor and current Grand Center poobah Vince Schoemehl.

41) Who has federal inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, a.k.a. Jonny Sue-Nami, not named in a recent federal lawsuit?
A) Anheuser-Busch.
B) Dale Earnhardt Jr. and the NASCAR Busch Series.
C) Busch Gardens.
D) None of the above.

42) What has been proposed as the new name for the stretch of Interstate 70 currently designated as the Mark McGwire Highway?
A) The T.S. Eliot Memorial Wasteland Highway.
B) The John F. Bass Memorial Highway.
C) The Mark Twain Memorial Highway.
D) The Ike Turner Memorial Speedway.

43) Under what circumstances did St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay say he'd sign a proclamation creating "Ike Turner Day"?
A) If Turner were to pay a visit to hype the St. Louis Family Justice Center.
B) If Turner were to go three rounds with local kickboxer/hottie Jamie O'Hare.
C) If Turner were to agree to play at next year's Strassenfest.
D) If Hell freezes over.

44) What ailment affected more than 60 daycare centers in the St. Louis region?
A) Shigellosis.
B) Scurvy.
C) Bubonic plague.
D) Clytemnestra.

45) Who is Jono Sanders, and why was his butt sore?
A) He is the owner of the Web site www.milliondollarsoutofmybutt.com which he dreamed up to pay off his student loans.
B) He's a former client of St. Louis Skin Solutions who alleges that instead of receiving the gluteal-augmentation surgery he went in for, he was outfitted with silicone breast implants.
C) He's the drunk Washington University concertgoer who was Tasered in the ass by campus police.
D) Shigellosis.

46) What did Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra conductor David Robertson and his pianist wife Orli Shaham name their new twin sons?
A) Liam and Ewan.
B) Abbott and Costello.
C) Alex and Nathan.
D) Castor and Pollux.

47) June 10 was a day of mourning for many in St. Louis. How so?
A) It was the day construction crews took down the Tamm Avenue Bridge over Highway 40.
B) It was the day officials at the Missouri Botanical Garden announced that a 225-year-old giant sequoia had succumbed to bark beetles.
C) It was the day the Mary Engelbreit store at the Saint Louis Galleria — the chain's last brick-and-mortar store — closed for good.
D) It was the day Mayor Francis Slay shot down Ike Turner Day.

48) How much in damages did a St. Louis County jury award Metro in its lawsuit against the Cross-County Collaborative?
A) $80 million.
B) The head of Kwame Building Group president and CEO Tony Thompson.
C) Nothing. In fact, jurors awarded the Cross-County Collaborative $2.56 million in damages.
D) Nothing. They kissed and made up. In fact, the families of former Metro chief Larry Salci and Tony Thompson are at this moment spending Christmas together in Aruba.

49) To which cause has 1977 Cleveland High School graduate Bruce Santhuff devoted his life?
A) As a Jesuit missionary in Africa, Santhuff has devoted his life to eradicating polio.
B) As a childhood fan of the Spirits of St. Louis, Santhuff works tirelessly to bring professional basketball back to St. Louis.
C) As the sole importer of the Spaloo, a toilet seat that doubles as a bidet, Santhuff has devoted himself to the hygiene of all Americans.
D) As the loser of a contested election in 1976 for class president, Santhuff has devoted his life to getting administrators at Cleveland High School to conduct a full and impartial recount.

50) What incident marred last year's Mothers Against Drunk Driving convention in St. Louis?
A) Sixty-seven attendees fell ill with a mysterious virus.
B) Sixty-seven attendees were unable to summon cabs to take them back to their hotel.
C) Keynote speaker Tony La Russa backed out.
D) All of the above.

Match the St. Louis Cardinal with his vice:
51) Tony La Russa. A,B,C
52) Scott Spiezio. A,B,C
53) Josh Hancock. A,B,C
A) Drinking.
B) Drinking.
C) Drinking.

54) In May, Washington University researcher Dr. Herbert "Skip" Virgin reported that he'd discovered a way to enhance the immune system, enabling it to better ward off maladies such as food poisoning. What does he prescribe?
A) Maintain a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep.
B) Resist the temptation to hold your sorority sister's hair as she vomits that six-pack of Zima.
C) Eat dirt.
D) Expose yourself to a strain of the herpes virus.

55) To what does St. Louisan Gary Long attribute his massive weight loss?
A) The Grapefruit 45 Diet.
B) Diet Dr Pepper.
C) Walking across the United States.
D) Oprah.

56) What was the topic of the educational film Orchard Farm High School teacher Tiffany Kalabus' class thought they'd be watching when they were instead treated to a clip from a pornographic movie?
A) The mating habits of orangutans.
B) The mosaics of Ravenna, Italy.
C) Volcanoes.
D) The Special Olympics.

57) When Riverview Gardens school leaders attended an education conference in Orlando, what items from the trip were not billed to the district?
A) Two $50 pedicures.
B) A $416 restaurant tab.
C) More than $28,000 for the entire six-day event.
D) "My School Board Went to Florida and All I Got Was a Crummy T-Shirt" T-shirts for the entire Riverview Gardens School District student body.

58) Who is Sylvia Brickman Slone?
A) Executive director of the Missouri Veterans Commission.
B) St. Louis County Circuit Court clerk.
C) The St. Louis city official who spearheaded the drive to cancel Mighty Mud Mania 2007.
D) Miss Nursing Home 2007.

Match the Missourian with the item he or she put up for auction on eBay:
59) Bill Beeny. B
60) Rochelle Steffen. C
61) Mark Bland. A
A) The North American manager for the Swedish group Rednex, who put the band up for auction.
B) The owner and curator of the Elvis Is Alive Museum, who put the entire museum up for auction.
C) The pet owner who allowed dogs to chew on Michael Vick trading cards, then put the cards up for auction.

62) Sherman George is to Francis Slay as:
A) A cool breeze is to a summer's day.
B) A boat trip down the Mississippi is to a can of Mr. Pibb.
C) A moat is to a castle.
D) A flaccid member is to a drunk man.

63) World Series tickets are to the St. Louis Police Department as:
A) Webster Groves is to Jonathan Franzen.
B) Tasers are to Jono Sanders.
C) A warm Bud Light is to an AA member.
D) Other people's children are to Michael Devlin.

64) The elected St. Louis Board of Education is to the St. Louis Public Schools as:
A) A shepherd is to a flock of sheep.
B) A pair of jet engines is to a 757.
C) Attilio D'Agostino is to ALIVE magazine.
D) An impacted stool is to the mammalian digestive tract.

65) Curt and Lori Drew are to Waterford Crystal Drive as:
A) A pair of sapphires is to a tennis bracelet.
B) Worker bees are to a hive.
C) The two forward wings are to a soccer team.
D) A cancerous lesion is to a healthy lung.

66) What do Lewis Greenberg's neighbors have to say about his outdoor art installation, The Holocaust Revisited?
A) "It's junk."
B) "It's a great reminder that we must never forget the depths to which the human animal can sink."
C) "At least it matches his drapes."
D) "My kid could make that."

67) Who is Gary Lee Jones and why is he facing up to seven years in prison?
A) He is a drug mule who was caught with $15,000 worth of heroin on I-44.
B) He is a preacher from the bootheel who stands accused of embezzling his congregation's funds.
C) He is a competitive fisherman who was arrested for cheating during the 2007 Angler's Choice/Bass Quest Tournament on Lake Wappapello.
D) He is a serial vandal who stole sculptures from Turtle Park.

68) What make of car did kidnapper and child molester Michael Devlin drive?
A) A Rambler.
B) A Toyota pickup.
C) A Camaro.
D) A Hummer.

69) U.S. Attorney Catherine Hanaway says the U.S. Attorney's office in St. Louis has logged more indictments than any other district for which crime?
A) Possessing or producing methamphetamine.
B) Possessing or producing child pornography.
C) Mail fraud.
D) Failure to use one's turn signal.

Match the executive with the crime(s) for which he has been indicted:
70) Mike Shanahan, Engineered Support Systems Inc. C
71) Henry Allen, Global Power Global Wealth Enterprises. A
72) Gary Kaplan, BETonSPORTS. B
A) Money laundering, mail fraud and wire fraud.
B) Racketeering, wire fraud and tax evasion (to name a few).
C) Defrauding investors by back-dating stock options.

73) Washington University student Susannah Cahalan made headlines in 2007 for what?
A) She was selected as a Rhodes Scholar.
B) She scored two jailhouse interviews with kidnapper and child molester Michael Devlin.
C) She was the first female to swim down the Mississippi River from La Crosse, Wisconsin, to St. Louis.
D) She was featured in a Playboy magazine feature entitled "Putting the ‘Fun' in Fundamentalist Christianity."

74) Why did Brian and Susanna Cox sue ConAgra in federal court in Missouri?
A) They bought a Slim Jim that glowed in the dark.
B) They ate a jar of salmonella-tainted Great Value peanut butter.
C) After purchasing what they thought was a filet mignon, they were shocked to find out that it was "all ligament."
D) While working as temps at ConAgra's Nebraska pork plant, they saw a floor manager mix what he referred to as "the real Red Bull": equal parts pig's blood and cow's milk.

75) Which staff member left Governor Matt Blunt's administration in the wake of the recent controversy over the office's handling of e-mails?
A) Chief of Staff Ed Martin.
B) General Counsel Henry Herschel.
C) Deputy General Counsel Scott Eckersley.
D) All of the above.

76) What body part of what sculpture went missing from Turtle Park shortly before the demolition of the Tamm Avenue Bridge over Highway 40?
A) The head of a turtle (duh).
B) The head of a snake.
C) The head of a frog.
D) The nose on a work called The Brown-Noser.

77) Before being stripped of its authority, the St. Louis Board of Education approved a no-bid contract to which local personality?
A) Lizz Brown.
B) Floyd Irons.
C) Mike Shannon.
D) Ray Hartmann.

78) What will earn you an employee counseling session if you're in the "Ladies and Gents" program at Pinnacle's new downtown casino, Lumière Place?
A) You come to work in a trench coat, mumbling something about spotter planes and infrared binoculars.
B) Your weight fluctuates up or down more than 5 percent from the time you were hired.
C) You spend more than $500 on the slots during any two-hour period.
D) You decide that you're only going to subscribe to the latter portion of the casino's hiring motto, "Work Hard, Play Hard."

79) Why is Saint Louis University suing longtime communications professor Avis Meyer?
A) For copyright infringement stemming from a fight over the student newspaper's charter during which Meyer registered the phrase, "The University News, A Student Voice Serving Saint Louis University Since 1921."
B) For fraud, because Meyer claims on his résumé to have a degree from Northwestern University but actually holds only a certificate in Swedish massage.
C) For fraternizing with Washington University student Susannah Cahalan.
D) For slander, alleging that Meyer, an amateur art collector, told SLU president Lawrence Biondi that his "relentless acquisition of tawdry bronze sculptures has made the campus look like a crap-ass mall."

80) Belleville resident James M. Dowdy is doing time for stealing what?
A) Hubcaps.
B) Women's socks.
C) Tawdry bronze sculptures from the Saint Louis University campus.
D) All of the above.

81) What is Lambert Field newcomer AirTran Airways' motto?
A) "Direct to Transylvania, baby!"
B) "AirTran, where the flight attendants aren't what they appear."
C) "AirTran flies to Atlanta and Sarasota."
D) "Go. There's nothing stopping you."

82) Ladue resident "Thumbelina" is the world's smallest known example of what species?
A) Dog.
B) Rat.
C) Horse.
D) Wal-Mart greeter.

83) Why was UMSL student Roxana Contreras detained by the Russian government?
A) She was caught trying to determine if there really are three maraschino cherries lodged in Vladimir Lenin's appendix.
B) She was suspected of transporting arms to Chechen rebels.
C) She was accused of smuggling old Soviet medals out of the country.
D) She was accused of smuggling mounted deer heads out of the country.

84) Which of these St. Louis eateries did not shut down in 2007?
A) King Louie's.
B) Red Moon.
C) Zoë Pan-Asian Cafe.
D) The Pasta House Co.

Match the Cardinals player with his injury:
85) Chris Carpenter. C
86) Scott Rolen. B
87) Juan Encarnacion. A
A) Eye.
B) Shoulder.
C) Elbow.

88) Which broadcaster came under fire after airing a 30-minute infomercial produced by AmerenUE about the Taum Sauk Reservoir?
A) KMOV (Channel 4).
B) City TV 10.
C) CW11.
D) KSDK-TV (Channel 5).

89) Why was Mascoutah Middle School student Megan Coulter given detention?
A) She was caught peddling methamphetamine.
B) She was caught scalping Hannah Montana tickets.
C) She was caught stealing Neil Diamond CDs from the principal's car.
D) She was caught flouting the school's ban on hugging.

90) According to the U.S. Conference of Mayors, St. Louis has the best:
A) Drinking water.
B) Potato chips (Red Hot Riplets).
C) Air.
D) View of East St. Louis.

91) Which of the following movies was filmed in St. Louis in 2007?
A) I Am Legend.
B) Kismet.
C) Kingshighway.
D) Cahokia Limited.

92) Why did some residents of Lafayette Square object to a new playground in the neighborhood?
A) Because it featured a platform that was too high and would pose a danger to children.
B) Because the surrounding area wasn't equipped with sufficient lighting and might attract lurkers.
C) Because its wooden components had been treated with arsenic.
D) Because its bright colors did not match the area's "historic" qualities.

93) Which St. Louisan did not die in 2007?
A) Thomas Eagleton.
B) Harriett Woods.
C) John Danforth.
D) Ike Turner.

94) President George W. Bush appointed Sam Fox ambassador to which country?
A) Belgium.
B) Liechtenstein.
C) Iraq.
D) Chile.

95) What does "Action Jackson," a robot designed by Washington University mechanical engineering student Topher McFarland, do?
A) It waxes your floor.
B) It plays Texas Hold 'Em.
C) It mimics the painting style of Jackson Pollock.
D) It repeatedly loads and fires a vintage eighteenth-century musket.

96) What did then-St. George police sergeant James Kuehnlein say to motorist Brett Darrow during a videotaped traffic stop?
A) "[Y]ou wanna try me? You wanna try me tonight? You think you've had a bad night? I will ruin your fucking night."
B) "Talk back to me again. I bet I could say you resisted arrest or something. You want to come up with something? I come up with nine things. Do you wanna try something?"
C) "What are you doin' with a camera hooked to your car seat? ...You started it. Why do you have an attitude? As a matter of fact, I was gonna come in here, see if you're OK. First of all, we have people try to commit suicide in here. We have car thieves come in here. We have people break into cars here. I have enough probable cause to stop you. OK?"
D) All of the above.

97) A report issued in December by the animal-rights group In Defense of Animals found that the elephants at the Saint Louis Zoo are at high risk of what?
A) Elephantiasis.
B) Chlamydia.
C) Folliculitis.
D) Herpes.

98) Which St. Louis-area mall has not enacted a curfew for teenagers?
A) St. Louis Mills.
B) Jamestown Mall.
C) Saint Louis Galleria.
D) None of the above.

99) What St. Louisan made it onto American Idol in 2007?
A) Ruka Puff.
B) Sineta Roker.
C) Nikko Smith.
D) Mickey Carroll.

100) Why are the St. Louis Cardinals suing Douglas Lewis?
A) For selling unauthorized Cardinals paraphernalia.
B) For ticket scalping.
C) For impersonating Fredbird.
D) For supplying Rick Ankiel with HGH.

101) In September the Saint Louis Art Museum announced it had paid $10 million for a work by which artist?
A) Edgar Degas.
B) Ernest Trova.
C) Thomas Kinkade.
D) Claude Monet.

102) What did Hannah Montana teach St. Louis parents in 2007?
A) That the music world has changed since you camped out all night for Flock of Seagulls tickets, chump.
B) That Hell hath no fury like a nine-year-old denied.
C) That looks are important, but it's what's on the inside that really matters.
D) All of the above.

103) What law did the Branson City Council recently vote to enact?
A) Declare April "Yakov Smirnov Month."
B) Declare that "Every Day is the Fourth of July in Branson."
C) Declare that the official town anthem would henceforth be the Rednex's version of "Cotton Eye Joe."
D) Declare that the City of Branson officially supports the celebration of "Ozark Mountain Christmas."