Hello, and welcome to all you bearded, bean-eating Bostonians traveling to our fair city for Games Three, Four and Five of the World Series!
St. Louis has its quirks, and our Midwestern charm-slash-Catholic guilt won't allow us to leave you in the lurch as you try to get around. Because when you fly home after losing three straight games here in St. Louis, we want you to think, "At least St. Louis was a fun town!"
Here are five things you should know to have a great time in the Lou:
1. St. Louis is not as dangerous as the Internet says it is. It seems like every few months, some Internet list names St. Louis the most dangerous city in America-slash-the-world. While St. Louis has its share of urban crime, you don't need to bring your gun. The calculations that go into crime rankings are inherently flawed and unfairly compare our city to larger metro areas. The reasons are complicated and have to do with the fact that St. Louis City is separate from St. Louis County, but we'd rather explain it to you with this rap:
2. The Arch is kind of bullshit. We're anticipating a huge amount of hate mail from St. Louisans on this one, but all we mean is that there's more to visiting Mound City than riding the Oompa Loompa cars to the top of the Arch for a panoramic view of the nothingness that is East St. Louis, Illinois. The St. Louis skyline is more beautiful when it includes America's monument to Western expansion. If it's a view you want, we recommend 360, the rooftop bar at the Hilton at the Ballpark.
