Yugo Mechanic
"Nothing is obscene unless my mom's watching."
Keri Correia
Origami Artist
"Obscene is Britney Spears becoming a role model for impressionable preteens. She started out as a talented performer, and somewhere along the way she decided that sex sells. And look at the number of [young] women who are getting breast implants, pathetically influenced by glitz and shallowness. You can be sexy without showing everything. Sexiness is part of your personality and who you are -- it doesn't have to be half-naked."
Eric Sparkman
Sommelier
"In the restaurant trade, obscene rears its ugly little head quite often. Here's a guy, orders a $500 bottle of wine and he wants to tip me $100 just for uncorking it, just to impress on me -- his 'servant' -- that he has money. I mean, tip me ten and fricking give the rest to the homeless guy on the street. But hey, that's his moral problem. I can't tell someone how to spend their money, but I do find those sorts of displays offensive and obscene."
Jillian Christensen
Author, The Big Book of Cheez Whiz
"The number of poor little animals that end up as roadkill. It's carnage and that's obscene, because they have no defense against moving vehicles except to freeze in terror and, if you think about it, it's been their territory forever. To them we must be like these insane techno-monsters. Imagine just going out for an evening stroll and suddenly -- bam! -- 'Well, hell, I was a raccoon but now I'm dead!'"
Dominic Kenny
Owner, Irish Immigrant Pub (New Bedford, Massachusetts)
"Obscene is what it's going to be like here at five o' clock when the strippers come in. Obscene is when my bartender hands me the broom and tells me to go sweep the parking lot -- okay, enough of that. Really now, what I find obscene is rude, vulgar people who have no tact and no culture."
Kelly Yasky
Hard Meat Inspector
"Obscene? There's no such thing as obscene -- or else everything is obscene. Taking my clothes off might be obscene. Peeing in a church pew might be obscene. Hey, I'm so obscene I'm a saint! It's just a word, a word that describes all the nasty little thoughts that trickle into your simpleminded head."
