Which St. Louisan Should Be the Next Pope?

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Stan, zombified. - image via
Stan, zombified.

1. Zombie Stan Musial If this is the way we have to have him, rotting flesh and all, well, so be it. Rising from the dead is not exactly a concept unknown to the Catholic Church. Throughout his life, Musial was a devout Catholic, a regular attender of Mass and, to all appearances, a faithful follower of the Golden Rule. Plus, the man was adored, not just in St. Louis, but throughout the baseball-loving portions of the world. As Pope, we imagine he would be just and fair and a hell of a long-ball hitter. He may lack a few ecclesiastical qualifications, but just remember -- the man was was a Cardinal!

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