Winter Olympics: Five Absurd St. Louis "Sports" We'd Rather Watch Than Curling

Feb 18, 2014 at 8:45 am

We think the Winter Olympics are great. That overtime shootout when Blues forward T.J. Oshie scored a crazy between-the-knees goal to win it all for team U.S.A.? Wow. Just, wow. Instant classic.

Alas, other "sports" at the Winter Olympics are decidedly less exciting. (We're looking at you, curling, ice dancing, luge, biathlon and bobsleigh.)

If the International Olympic Committee really wants to ensure sports greatness for the 2018 winter games in Pyeongchang, South Korea, they should tap the same source that provided Sochi with Oshie -- St. Louis, that is.

Here are five somewhat fanciful suggestions for St. Louis-themed sports we'd love the Winter Olympics to adopt.

See also: 20 Reasons to Love Winter in St. Louis

1. Art Hill Skeleton

Our biggest gripe with Winter Olympic sports like skeleton -- where the winner is determined by orderly, individual speed runs -- is that they lack tension.

The grand St. Louis tradition of sledding down Art Hill in Forest Park, however, would present a fantastic spectacle of chaos and excitement for an Olympic crowd. Just imagine: Athletes in skin-tight bodysuits hurtling down the packed hill, swerving desperately to avoid snowboarders and oncoming children -- wouldn't that be fantastic?

Style points awarded for ditching your modern sled for a folding chair -- that's what a handful of state-fair employees first used to slide down Art Hill in 1905.