Sometimes, St. Louisans get national and international attention for their great accomplishments -- Twitter founder Jack Dorsey, for example, may someday run New York City! But this afternoon, we bring you news of another St. Louis celeb who is captivating all of America, with a really huge accomplishment that no one can ignore.
So, St. Louis, let us swell with pride that Jon Hamm's Incredibly Enormous Penis is the most important thing on The Internet today. Why? It's causing trouble! The gossip folks at the New York Daily News are reporting that AMC is telling the Mad Men star that he might want to put some underwear on, because his 1960s pants are very tight. His penis is apparently so big that the marketing folks have to use Photoshop sometimes to make it go away.
See also: - A Reading from "How to Live With a Huge Penis" - How Can You Possibly Live Without a Jon Hamm Coloring Book? - Jon Hamm Raps, Advises Teenage Girls
Below, we give you the best headlines (a.k.a. penis puns) today in the ever-important coverage of Jon Hamm's out-of-control private parts.
-Jon Hamm's revealing performances puts 'Mad Men' in a tight spot
-Jon Hamm's Penis Is Causing Big Problems On & Off The Mad Men Set! Find Out Why HERE!
-Jon Hamm's Penis Is So Big, They Have to Photoshop It
-'Mad Men': Jon Hamm's Penis is Too Big for Clothes, Needs Airbrushing
-AMC Bans Jon Hamm's Dick From the Set of Mad Men
-AMC Begs Jon Hamm to Put His Penis Away
-Jon Hamm's Private Parts Allegedly Cause A Frenzy On 'Mad Men' Set
-15 Reasons We Must Liberate Little Jon Hamm
Send feedback and tips to the author. Follow Sam Levin on Twitter at @SamTLevin.