Support Local Journalism. Join Riverfront Times Press Club.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

ALL RIGHT ALREADY!

Posted By on Thu, Oct 12, 2006 at 10:32 AM

from www.claireonline.com
Neither one of these people is Unreal
Unreal is nothing if not polite, and that's why we've politely asked Claire McCaskill's press secretaries to stop sending us e-mails with subject lines in all-caps. They are so BLEEPING ANNOYING.

"MISSOURI VETS ANGRY ABOUT TALENT ATTACK ON FELLOW INJURED VET," they say, or "TALENT LETS RUMSFELD OFF THE HOOK, TROOPS AND NATIONAL SECURITY SUFFER," or "YOU DON'T CALL YOUR FRATERNITY A FRAT BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T CALL YOUR COUNTRY A CUNT."

All right, so we made up that last one.

While we're on the subject, would everyone mind shutting up about national security? Is everyone that afraid of getting blown up? If you live in Lebanon, maybe, but c'mon. Even if you were living in New York City on September 11, your odds of getting blown up were, what, one in 2,000?

Yes, if Al Qaeda or Kim Jong Il publicly announced they were planning to blow up Unreal, we'd be a little nervous. Such a scenario would justify around-the-clock cable news coverage and billions of dollars in taxpayer money.

But until that happens, please stop talking about national security, and for God's sake don't send us e-mails with subject lines in all-caps. -Unreal

Tags:

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

July 28, 2021

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2021 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation