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Monday, June 30, 2008

Obama in Missouri -- Independence, Missouri

Posted By on Mon, Jun 30, 2008 at 2:15 PM

Editor's Note: This post originally appeared on the blog of the Riverfront Times' sister paper in Kansas City, the Pitch, which is about nine miles from Independence. Obama's campaign has also taken him to Unity, New Hampshire recently. Could it start a political trend where stump speeches are only given in communities with symbolic names? The residents of Hell, Michigan must feel pretty lonely.


Independence is very important: Sen. Barack Obama visited Independence today. Independence! It's a real Nixon-goes-to-Sedalia moment for the presumptive Democratic nominee, who did, yes, visit St. Louis on June 10, but who also visited Cape Girardeau in May. He's very committed to touring the smaller, more Republican, more crystal meth-y towns, not that I want to prop up stereotypes about Independence, Missouri, or suggest that the electoral map of Republican-leaning districts corresponds with statistical maps of crystal-meth abuse. I really don't want to. It happens by accident, like when I use swears in front of children, many of whom are still in the process of acquiring language skills.

Obama spoke today on the subject of patriotism. I guess there's a first-grade teacher out there whose class assignments are distributed among politicians. I remember this one time I had to give a speech about teeth. Barack Obama's X-treme patriotism can best be described as a soaring bald eagle crapping Toby Keith heads all over an Abraham Lincoln wearing a stovepipe hat made out of Lee Greenwood. Artist's conception:


That's pretty fucking patriotic. Anyway, how does Obama's visit square with his lack of advertising in Missouri? John McCain, Senator of Modern Maturity, has been on the air in Missouri for, like, a month with that one ad where he talks about how much he hates war, which is why he just wants to take all the weapons and bombs and Army divisions and load them into an airplane and just drop them on Iran.


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