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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Were All the Good Jokes About Darfur Already Taken?

Posted By on Thu, Mar 5, 2009 at 1:55 PM

Whew. Dodged a bullet there. 

  • I'm a bit of ratings whore.
I was going to get all David Letterman on everyone and write a Top Ten list of jokes about dead boaters. Luckily, someone was dumb enough to set an example as to why that's a bad idea. Everybody, meet Mike Valenti

Mr. Valenti is a radio show host in Detroit, one half of The Valenti and Foster Show on station WXYT, and one of the primary contributors to The Sports Inferno, a Detroit sports-themed Web site. He's also just not the brightest light bulb on the marquee. 

See, on Monday afternoon, Valenti read a couple of jokes sent via instant message from listeners about Corey Smith, the NFL player currently missing and presumed lost at sea. Now, I'm sure that jokes about people losing their lives in tragic accidents are awesome and all, but apparently, it's just too soon for some wet blanket types, and now Valenti's got his balls in a vice.

What I take away from this is something that I've known all along: anytime someone begins a sentence with any variation of the phrase, "You know, I really don't even want to say this," it always, always means that they should just stop right then.

Just like when someone leads off a sentence with, "I don't mean to be racist, but..." just prepare for the worst or, better yet, stop them. Nothing even remotely good has ever followed either one of those statements. 

Now, I think it is important to point out that Valenti himself didn't make up the jokes; he simply read what listeners were sending in. Still plenty dumb, of course, but moderately less horrifying. 

Sadly, though, it does then force us to consider the question: what sort of person makes up jokes about someone dying in a boating accident the day after they call off the search and then sends them in to a talk radio show? 

Honestly, that's something I just don't think I want to know.

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