Support Local Journalism. Join Riverfront Times Press Club.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Say What? Santa Claus is Texting? Pity the Poor Tot Sans Cellphone!

Posted By on Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 11:20 AM

Can't you hear the conversation already?

Kid: Mommy, mommy, Santa texted me!!

Parent: Wow, sweetie, how neat! That Santa Claus, he's so stupid-cool.

Kid: Do you think Santa will tweet me, too? I wanna be his friend on Facebook! 

Parent: Hmm, I don't know if the elves have rigged up Santa's broadband service yet, sugar. Maybe we can send Santa an e-mail and see if he writes back. 

(Inner bitch-slap. Repeat inner bitch-slap. Wonder how much that'll cost us.) 

At least the texting's for a good cause. Per a press release from the March of Dimes and the St. Charles company, Anchor Mobile, the merry "elves" behind this service:

Elves in Santa's research department have noted that nine million children between the ages of eight and 12 own cell phones. Santa decided that cell phones are a great opportunity to spread Christmas cheer. 

For $5.49, adults can have the three messages sent to a child. $1 from each transaction will be donated to March of Dimes. The child's data will be protected by data encryption and used only for the one-way contact from Santa as purchased and approved by parents. Information will then be destroyed immediately by elves in Santa's shredding department. Standard text messaging rates apply.

Maybe next year Santa will bring cell phones to the millions of poor tots without them.

Tags: ,

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

October 13, 2021

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2021 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation