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Monday, February 6, 2012

The Super Bowl Commercial Post, 2012 Edition

Posted By on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 9:09 AM

click to enlarge Eh. Super Ball, Super Bowl...who cares?
  • Eh. Super Ball, Super Bowl...who cares?
Oy. Every year I keep hoping for a great return to form, and every single year I am disappointed. 

The Super Bowl was played yesterday -- you may have heard something about it -- and it turned out to not only be a rematch of the 2008 game between the Patriots of New England and the New York Giants, it actually turned out to basically be the same game. Much like The Hangover II tried way, way too hard to replicate the exact formula which made the first one so successful, this Super Bowl pretty much followed the script of the last one to a T. 

You had the late comeback by the Giants, including the David Tyree moment courtesy of Mario Manningham this year, the failed final attempt by the Patriots, the surprisingly low point total, all of it. The same damned game. 

Okay, so it was the same damned absolute classic of a game, but still. I saw this movie already. And really, I only watch for the commercials anyway. Though I guess getting to see MIA flip off the camera while fancying herself a real rebel was alright. (Terrible halftime show, by the way; the dude in a toga bouncing on a piece of tape was okay, but beyond that I mostly just felt bad for Cee-Lo Green, who really deserved better.) Still, it was yet another thin year for the commercials, even after I threatened last year to just stop caring about them altogether

Okay, first things first: seeing David Beckham get nearly naked for an H&M commercial was, well, refreshing. No, the spot doesn't make the list, mostly because it was just David Beckham not wearing any clothes and I don't think that's a particularly great advertisement, but still, I was rather pleased to see it. After seeing nothing but scantily-clad women on commercials for most of my natural life, it was really interesting to see an equal-opportunity exploitation taking place on the screen. Plus, it's also encouraging to me that at least one company finally realized there are a large number of women watching the Super Bowl, too; maybe they wouldn't mind seeing a nude dude once in awhile.

I'll give an honourable mention to the Acura NSX commercial with Jerry Seinfeld, just because I enjoyed seeing the Soup Nazi. Honorable mentions also go to the Dannon commercial featuring John Stamos getting headbutted, because I've always wanted to see John Stamos get headbutted, and the Ferris Bueller spot. Sure, it was actually pretty lame, and the fact people have been talking about it for a couple of weeks already after someone decided we now need commercials for commercials made it even lamer, but it's still tough not to like Matthew Broderick talking to the camera. 

I do have to give a dishonorable mention to the newest Go Daddy commercial, though. Don't get me wrong; I was never a huge fan of their adverts in the first place, but by this point in time they're basically just making softcore porn flicks. And I say that's just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. You want people to remember your company? You've got to go all the way. 

I'm thinking you get some guy to tattoo Go Daddy on his dick and then make a series of hardcore pornographic films. Danica Patrick certainly seems like she'll do anything for a commercial, so I'm sure we could get her on board. Now all we need is a dude. Someone who would be willing to sacrifice his dignity for a commercial. Better yet, someone who has no dignity to begin with! Maybe an internet columnist of some see where I'm going with this, right? Plus, let's be frank here: thirty second spots would be absolutely perfect for me. 

Anyhow, now that we've got that out of the way, let's move on to the five best Super Bowl ads of 2012, shall we? Why five? Because it was a bad year and I couldn't come up with ten. 

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