Support Local Journalism. Join Riverfront Times Press Club.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Bearded Bandit Casts Temporary Curse on the Cardinals

Posted By on Mon, Oct 22, 2012 at 8:27 AM

The bearded bandit has cursed the redbirds - IMAGE VIA
  • Image via
  • The bearded bandit has cursed the redbirds
Around midday on Friday, some hipster-looking douche with dark blazer, big glasses and a beard walked into the First Bank at 3850 Jeffco Boulevard in Arnold. 

He slipped the teller a note demanding money, showed no weapon and made off with an undisclosed amount of coin. 

On the way out, he yelled, "Go Cards!" 

Since that moment, the Cardinals have not won a game.  Coincidence?

No. It's bad karma. And a curse.  

This crook committed a serious crime, invoked the name of the Cardinals and now -- instead of an air of inevitability -- our hometown heroes are plunged into uncertainty, having only scored one run in the last two games. 

To counteract it, you must invoke the Cardinals -- TODAY -- while performing some generous act of charity, like smiling at a homeless person or picking up a Riverfront Times. You might not like it. But we need to bring the moral scales of the universe back into balance. 

We need this win tonight. 

Tags: , ,

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

July 21, 2021

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2021 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation