Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Some Area Couples Celebrate Thanksgiving With Crazy Domestic Strife

Posted By on Wed, Nov 21, 2012 at 6:00 AM

Some couples clearly need some more tryptophan, you feel me? - IMAGE VIA
  • Image via
  • Some couples clearly need some more tryptophan, you feel me?
The holidays can be stressful. And love can drive you mad. We get all that.

But land sakes, it sure seems like certain couples have gone batshit cray-cray within the past week.

Exhibit A: Head-stabbing

Achrista Malamut, a 33-year-old living in 100 block of Carriage View Drive in Wildwood, woke up her boyfriend on November 13 to deal with some kind of real-estate issue (according to her, she wanted rent money; according to him, she wanted him to forge some closing documents).

No matter: They got into a fight and she ended up stabbing him twice in the head with a steak knife.

She's been charged with felony domestic assault and felony armed criminal action. That's kind of what happens when you elect to stab your boyfriend in the head with a steak knife.

Exhibit B: Hair-slamming

Adam Kolakowski, a 33-year-old living in the 300 block of Arapaho Drive in Belleville, has been accused of grabbing his lady friend by the hair on Monday and slamming her to the ground. Several times.

It's not clear why he did it (if he did it), but if he did: Come on, man.

The investigation is ongoing. Court records show he's been charged with a couple counts of domestic battery.

Exhibit C: Shotun-blasting (by accident)

This happened near Carthage in southwest Missouri, so it's not really in the "area," but we're going to go with it.

A husband and wife got into a squabble; the husband and his wife's father then started to struggle over a shotgun, which went off. The blast wounded the couple's kids -- a two-year-old girl and four-year-old boy -- who had to be taken to the emergency room.

Happy holidays, kids.

Moral of all these stories: Build a cabin in the woods and never talk to anyone ever again.

h/t Patch, Joplin Globe, KMOV

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