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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The 13 Best Fat Baseball Players of All Time

Posted By on Tue, Mar 5, 2013 at 8:45 AM

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13. Sid Fernandez

sidfernandez.gif

Fans of the Cardinals have plenty of reason to remember Sid Fernandez, and plenty of reason not to like him. Part of those Pond Scum Mets teams from the '80s, Fernandez always seemed to come up big when the two teams faced each other, usually at some crucial juncture of the season as the two clubs fought for the old NL East crown. St. Louisans in general just didn't much care for Sid Fernandez in those years.

Dude was pretty good, too, in spite of a body that looked as if it should have been perpetually clad in a Sopranos-style tracksuit, with a career 3.36 ERA, though the injury bug took him out of the game prematurely. (He was essentially done as an effective pitcher by the time he hit about 31.)

Seeing him now, even after all these years, still brings back a bunch of not-so-pleasant memories. And also makes us wonder why Bob Hoskins was tapped to star in that Super Mario Bros. movie when Sid Fernandez probably would have worked a whole lot cheaper at that point.

12. Mo Vaughn

click to enlarge You know what's amazing? This isn't a really fat picture of Mo Vaugh.
  • You know what's amazing? This isn't a really fat picture of Mo Vaugh.

Okay, here's my Mo Vaughn story: when I was twelve years old, I bugged my mother to buy me a Mo Vaughn rookie card that cost six dollars in 1992 money. I finally got her to pony up for the card, then traded it a week later for a copy of Legendary Wings on the NES. The trade earned me a merciless beating with a large Pacific salmon when I got home. And that's my Mo Vaughn story. (Some elements of the preceding story may have been embellished.)

Mo Vaughn hit a bunch when he played for the Red Sox, but most of them are now looked at with skepticism, seeing as how his name was fairly prominently featured in the Mitchell Report on PEDs in baseball.

Got to say, if you take steroids, and that's the body you end up with, you may want to ask for your money back.

11. Terry Pendleton

click to enlarge pendleton_card.jpg

Ah, another Cardinal, and another blast from the past taking me back to my youth.

Pendleton didn't really hit his stride at the plate until he left St. Louis to head to Atlanta during the final dark days of Anheuser-Busch ownership of the team, winning an MVP award in 1991 and finishing a runner-up for the prize the next season. Even during his time in St. Louis, though, Pendleton was an outstanding defender, which no one could ever quite figure out. How does a guy who looks so much like a bowling ball have that kind of agility?

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